


Untitled

by witchyykitty



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 18:19:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchyykitty/pseuds/witchyykitty





	Untitled

The room is spinning and my body is going numb, god I love this feeling. The burn of the weed feels wonderful as it hits my lungs, the head rush I get when it really starts to hit. I take a couple more hits as the green takes me away from this town and all the bullshit it holds. This party was fun at first, I was having a good time, Marissah and Jay were chillin’ with me, and we were knockin’ back shots like there was no tomorrow. Then she walked in the door, the one person who can drive me to the brink of no return and make me feel like the world is falling out from underneath my feet; Jaysen Sterlling. She is my ex, and still the love of my life, but she could make me sound like the most terrible lesbian this side of the Mississippi river. The way she tells it I broke her heart into a million pieces, but we’ll get to that part in a minute. Maybe I should tell you my story and how I was before I met Jaysen, when I was just Erika Madilyn.   
I’m drivin down the highway in my little electric blue mustang, blasting my Avenged Sevenfold so loud it makes the speakers jump. I slide around the curves of the road on my way to pick up Marissah and Nicolette so we can get to the lake before the high school kids. It’s not been too long since high school for me, but even when I was in high school the kids annoyed the hell out of me. I’ve always been more mature than my peers and it really showed in high school so I stuck with Marissah, Nicolette and Jay. It’s even safe to say that they kept me sane through it all; if I didn’t have them I would be lost.   
“Erika can you please shut off that music, you know I don’t really like your metal shit!” Nicolette calls to me as she’s opening up the passenger side door. Yup, that’s my Nicolette. She’s my sister, well not biologically but as good as blood to me. She knows me so well she lights us both up a Newport before I even get out of her driveway. She starts to fiddle with my iPod, tryin’ to find my country shit playlist so she can sing her little heart out. Yup, that’s my Nicolette.   
“So, the lake…got any idea who else is gonna be there? I know Marissah is the only one who can bring the alcohol but...”   
“Not for long Rika! I’mma be 21 in three months!”   
“Dang girl, you always gotta cut me off before I get a sentence out?”  
“Sorry,” she said in her cute little twang, “didn’t mean to!”  
“As I was saying!! Marissah is the only one who can bring alcohol and I got me and Marissah’s green in the glove, but who the fuck else is gonna be there?!”  
“I think Jay is going, though he might have some Marine shit going on today.”  
Yeah, Jay is a Marine. He’s not one of those fun ones who we party with when they get off base though, he’s a strict ass bitch when it comes to his job. He won’t even hit the MJ with us because he might get caught! Neither does Nicolette and she hates that I smoke, but it hasn’t caused any problems yet so she ain’t complaining. Now were cruising at a steady ninety miles an hour and singing our hearts out to Reba when my phone vibrates in my crotch. God damnit I need to find a better place for that shit. I take one look at my phone and it says her name.   
“Oh my god, its Katie!”  
“Katie? As in your ex fiancé who left you standing at the altar Katie?”  
“The one and only! What in the hell does she want?”  
“Well answer the phone stupid and see what she wants, a-duh!”  
I hit the answer key as Nicolette turns down my music, and I bring my stang to a crawl as we get into Marissah’s neighborhood. Yeah, the cops don’t like me around here so I don’t fuck with them in this part of town.   
“What are you doin’ today Rika?”  
“Umm, ain’t doin’ shit Miss Katie, how ‘bout yourself?”  
“Was gonna take a road trip to North Carolina to see a girl, you wanna come with?”  
“Are you fucking kidding me?” and with that I hang up the phone. For real, is this girl shittin me? It’s bad enough you were fuckin your “best friend” on the day we were supposed to get married, but you gotta go and rub it in my face that you got yet another skeez on your list? I don’t need that shit, you whore.   
Nicolette gives me a look, but I don’t even wanna talk about it. It’s been about six months since she left me at the altar looking like a fool. It crushed my heart when I knew she wasn’t going to be my wife, never mind the fact that she cheated on me multiple times. For the past six months I’ve been a wreck. It’s only recently that I’ve been goin out and about like I used to, and a girl? I haven’t even looked at one since then. Not that the girls around here aren’t sexy, but I’m not really looking. It’s definitely hard to find a girl that won’t play the fuck out of you just for shits and giggles. I learned that the hard way. That’s all beside the point, the point is; Erika plus girls equals no.   
We get out of the car at Marissah’s and look around, no one is home so we start screamin’ up at her window like the complete and total idiots we are.   
“Marissah! Get your sexy ass down here before I scale your wall and come through your window to ravage you!” yeah, that’s how I am with Marissah. She straight, so I gotta make some crude sexual comments towards her. All in good fun.  
“Alright whore! I’ll be down in a minute just lemme grab a few things!” she yells back, hanging over her balcony rail like she’s majorly baked. Knowing her, she probably is.   
“Well hurry up Marissah, or we’ll lose our spot by the lake!!” Nicolette yells.   
Marissah comes out of her house with a bag in one hand and her towel in the other. I already know what’s in the bag; a handle of Captain, a bottle of Crown, some soda and our pink princess! Pink princess is what me and Marissah named our bowl that we bought together and I happen to be in love with it! It’s clear with pink and black spiral ribbons going down the pipe and a burst of these two colors at the bowl. We bought it in a little head shop in DC on our last adventure there which just so happened to be gay pride weekend, which was amazing, just saying.   
“Alright bitches! Let’s go!” Marissah says as she slides smoothly across the back seat, throwing me a pack of cigarettes that I left at her house about two nights ago. I’m always leaving my things at my friends houses, they’re my homes away from home because anywhere is better than my own hell hole at this point.   
I turn around the corner while my girls are talking about Nicolette’s new girlfriend, and at this point I’m not really paying attention to the conversation at all. I’m relaxed, smoothly shifting gears as I speed down the back roads to the lake. When the road becomes dirt I know I’m almost there, so I slow down knowing the big oak is just around the bend and sliding into that could potentially kill us all. Yeah, I’m a fast driver, but I know when too much is too much. We pull up to the lake and see no cars in sight and I let out a sigh of relief; we are the first ones here!   
“Alright, you two go settle us down in our usual spot by the woods, I’ll grab the cooler.” I say to them as I turn off the engine. They both skip away like school girls, all excited to get a tan and just relax. We haven’t had a relaxing girl’s day out in a long time, and I know it’s killed them not having me around, but they’re not little lost puppies without me either. We all have our separate groups of friend’s; of course they are now my only group of friends since Katie disintegrated all relationships I had with her friends. I don’t mind really, but it is funny how when two people break up the friends you made never really stay your friends. It’s kinda like they only put up with you because you were dating their friend, which is exactly what happened to my group with Katie. They hate her guts but they have every right to. It’s probably not an easy thing to watch your best friend fall to the ground in a panic attack crying her eyes out when she hears the news of her fiancé fucking another woman on their wedding day. Yeah, I don’t blame them for hating her, in fact I kinda like that they do because if they loved her I would be left with no one.   
“You are so slow Rika, what you got your head up in the clouds? Hurry up, were gettin’ in the water!” Nicolette shouts to me as I’m making the long walk over to our side of the lake. Our side has a huge tree trunk laying on its side and a man made fire pit that me and Jay constructed last summer. It’s quite an epic pit, I gotta say, and we have an endless amount of fire wood at our hands, so we end up having parties here all the time.   
“Sloooow poke! Were getting’ in now, so strip down to your bikini and get in when you’re done with your intense train of thought mami!” Marissah says as she drops her shorts and sprints into the water after Nicolette. I strip down to my bikini, a little green and pink stripped number that ties together. I take my hair out of the high pony tail and let my long black hair flow down below my shoulder blades. I’m debating on whether or not I should take out my belly button ring; I’ve lost so many in the lake because of rough housing with Jay. I swear if someone went diving in the lake they would come up with about thirteen rings of mine. I’ll just keep it in, Jay isn’t around so there’s no way it could come loose and fall out. I walk over to the edge of the water and look out across the lake, and I see a female on the other side at the dock just staring at my crew. No, wait, she’s staring at me, just me. She’s got a small bikini with what looks like pink skull and cross bones on it, and her flat rim hat is on the dock beside her along with her flip-flops and clothes. Her hair is shoulder length, auburn color. Her skin is nicely tanned. She is staring so intensely at me I get chills in the hot summer sun and I feel goose bumps rising on my arms. Who is this girl? I have never seen her around before and this surprises me because I know everyone in my small town. Finally, she looks away as a short girl with long blonde hair comes up behind her and grabs her hand. At that point I’ve lost my concentration on her and waded into the cool water to join my friends.   
“Pass those chips my way Rika, I’m STARVING!” Nicolette says as she reaches her hand out to take the bag from me.  
“Hey, anyone else notice that hottie across the lake mad checkin’ Rika today?” Marissah says as she turns over onto her back.   
“She was not checkin’ me out Missy, she was just…observing. Anyways, she’s got a girl! And Marissah, you are STRAIGHT! How can you say she’s a hottie?” I said, not wanting my voice to give away the odd feelings of butterflies in my stomach at the mention of this mystery girl.  
“Nah ma, she was checkin’ you out! I don’t know who she is though, I’ve never seen her on this side of the tracks. Actually I’ve never seen her period!” Nicolette said as she munched on her salt and pepper chips.  
“Alright that’s enough talk about this chick, she wasn’t checking me out so can we drop this please?”   
“Alright Rika, just messin with you. You know we love you! So are you ready to go burn some grass?” Marissah asks as she’s pullin out the pink princess.   
“Yeah, I’m more than ready. Nik, we’ll be right back girl. Besides, isn’t that your girl’s car that just drove up?” I said.   
Nicolette jumped up to meet Alex at her car while me and Marissah walked back into the woods away from sight. Marissah starts to pack the bowl up and I’m fiddling with my belly button ring. Its funny how if either one of us is packin’ the bowl we won’t talk…must be a concentration thing or something. Once it’s all packed and ready she lets me have greens, and the first hit burns my chest.  
“Oh shit, Curtis gave us some good shit this time. I got your half in the glove when we get back to the car.” I say, holding my smoke in and passing it over to her.   
“What the fuck is this shit? It’s strong as fuck.” She says as she chokes back her hit.   
“Purple kush, got this shit from all the way down south. It cost about a hundred dollars for our usual amount” I said laughing before I took another hit from the bowl. We keep passing it back and forth and go through about two bowl packs between the two of us. Every hit I take makes me feel lighter and lighter, every worry I have has gone someplace else and I’m here in this forest. The trees are getting brighter, greener, and more luminescent. The ground is barely touching my bare feet, I’m feeling weightless in my burning high. I can feel the breeze brushing my wet hair over the tattoos on my back. It’s almost like these painted on wings are real, but I know they are not. It would be really cool if they were though. I’m looking around and hearing all the sounds around me, like the birds chirping, the fox scurrying around the shrubs around us, and even the faint sounds of the stream running its way through the forest. I wonder where that stream leads to. When we finally finish, we walk back to our spot, both blazed out of our minds.   
It’s getting closer to night fall and we decide to pack it in for the night, Nicolette is going back to Alex’s place and Marissah is having me drop her off at home for an early night. Looks like I’ve got the night to myself, perfect. We say our goodbyes to Nicolette and Alex and get into the stang. I turn on Avenged Sevenfold low, because Mo is fallin’ asleep in the seat next to me. I’m winding through the back roads and makin my way through my sleepy town. I wonder what I should do tonight? I could go home, shower and turn in for the night, but that is simply boring. Of course I could go to the gym and get in a couple hours of training. It’s been years since I’ve fought, but it’s always a good thing to stay in shape and keep my body up. Yeah, I’ll go to the gym. Why have a membership to a twenty-four hour gym if you can’t be a night owl every once in a while?   
I drop Marissah off and kiss her goodnight on the cheek and head home to change into my workout clothes. I don’t put on anything too fancy, just a pair of jazz pants and a tank top. I tie my hair up into a high pony tail, grab my water bottle and iPod and I’m off to get my sweat on. When I arrive at the gym I see maybe four other cars there but think that at least two belong to the boys who work here. So one other person besides me is here at ten o’clock at night? Wow, and I was really hoping I’d be the only one here. 

***

I walk into the gym and don’t see anyone but the boys behind the counter. I walk up and write my name on the clipboard and Jake, a boy I went to high school with, says, “Well if it isn’t Erika Madilyn. I haven’t seen you here in months, have you been training at home? When’s your next fight?”  
“Jake, I gave up fighting about three years ago.” I laughed.  
“Well I don’t see why you ever stopped Erika. You were the best fighter in our county and you could have been the best in the state.”  
“Don’t play like you don’t know why I quit, everyone in this town knows why I stopped.”  
I finished writing my information and smiled at the boys as I walked towards the women’s locker room. I get to my locker and open it up, it still has my pictures hanging inside and the faint smell of my axe deodorant. I switch out my slides for runnin’ shoes and put them in the locker along with my bag. I make my way towards the treadmill and put on Rob Zombie. I find it easier to train when I have sick, twisted music on. Yeah, that’s just the kind of girl I am. As I raise the speed and incline of the treadmill I start to feel the burn in my calves and the sweat forming at my hair line. This is a different kind of high, the self made high of adrenaline rushing through your veins and the power driven through your entire body to your legs that push you further and further into the stride. I reach the end of my warm up and slow down to a walk, keeping my abs tight. I jump off the treadmill and make my way over to the weights. Not payin any sort of attention as to where I’m headed, I run into the only other person in the gym besides myself; the girl from the dock.   
“Oh, shit. Sorry about that, I wasn’t paying attention.” I say, a little flustered. I can feel my cheeks getting’ to that pretty shade of pink that will give me away.   
“It’s alright Erika, no big deal.” She smiles and walks away, towards the free weights.   
I get to the bench press and realize that she knows my name. How does she know my name? I’ve never met the girl in my life. Wait, maybe I have. Rack your brain Rika, think. You have to know this girl from somewhere. How else could she know who I was? I get to rep thirty and my arms are like jello, so I move on to the leg press. I look over at this mystery girl and I thought I saw her staring at me with the same intensity she had earlier today. I try to ignore the feeling of eyes burning into my back as I’m walking away, but it’s difficult. I can feel her watching me and I bend down to increase the weight on the leg press, as I get situated on the machine, and as I’m pushing this weight up with my legs. My legs are shaking but not because the weight is too much, in fact it’s not heavy enough. No, my legs are shaking because this is the first time a girl has even came close to giving me butterflies in my stomach since Katie and I started dating two years ago. This is crazy, I don’t even know this girl. Why is my body reacting like this?   
I get off the leg press and go to the part of the gym that I know is gonna bring back some memories; the punching bag and sparing mats. I tape up my hands and change my music to Mindless Self Indulgence, blocking out all feelings I have aside from anger. From all inches of my body I can feel the anger rising to my core; the pain inflicted from a pathetic home life, the anger at Katie for fucking me over about a million times, the anger of those boys not going to jail for what they did to me, and the anger that has been with me ever since my mother died when I was thirteen years old. The anger builds as the music starts to take its effect and I start hitting the bag in front of me; right hook, left hook, sucker punch over and over, again and again till the song is over, I slump over and hold myself up with the bag, gasping for breath and feelin so much better because the anger is gone.   
“Didn’t know you still had it in you Rika.” A voice says behind me. I turned around slowly, and the girl was standing there, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. She’s sweaty from her work out and she’s got the intensity in her eyes again, her eyes are a deep hazel and seem to go on for miles.   
“Um, yeah, I still got a little fight left in me, when I can bring myself to do it.” I say to her, walking a little closer. “Um, have we met?”  
“No, we’ve never met, but I’ve been to all your fights. I drove all miles to see you fight.”  
“Wow, did you really? How come you never came up after the fights? That’s a long way to drive just to see a girl fight and not say anything to her.”  
“Well, I pussied out every time. I’m Jaysen by the way.” She held out her hand. I took her hand and felt the jolt of energy surge through it, she must have felt it to because she dropped my hand only seconds after taking it. She kept staring at me until finally I say, “Well it was nice meeting you, you should come to the lake tomorrow night and party with me and my crew. It’ll be a good time.”  
“Tomorrow night?” she checks her phone, “Shit, tomorrow night is no good. I gotta take my girlfriend to her mom, back where I am from. I just moved down here, so she stays with me sometimes.”  
“Ah, I see. Well gimme your phone.” She holds out her phone and I take it from her to put my number in there and say, “Now you have my number. Feel free to hit me up anytime and we’ll hang out.”  
“Alright bet, sounds like a plan. But I gotta get outta here, my shawty is blowin me up.”  
“Ok, I’ll talk to you later. It was nice meeting you.” I said with a smile.  
“Yeah, it was nice to finally meet my crush after five years.” She said as she turned on her heel and walked away. Yeah, my heart just stopped and my stomach exploded with butterflies. Shut up, this kinda thing doesn’t happen to me often.

“Oh my mother fucking shit Rika! Tell me everything right now, I want to know everything tell me NOW!” Nicolette was freaking out over the phone when I told her what happened at the gym. “I knew it! I knew she was checkin’ you out! Look at my sexy Rika gettin’ sexy ladies. You still got it girl!”  
“Shut up, it’s not like I wanted this to happen.” And in all seriousness I didn’t. I was so hell bent on not being with anyone for at least a year. Gave myself a year because I figured that’s how long it would take for me to really get over what Katie did, but apparently it only took about six months.   
“Come over right now, and bring Marissah, we need a girl talk. Right now, my parents are outta town so bring over some liquor.”  
“Dude, when are we getting our place? You know I have the money. All we need to do is get off our lazy asses and look!”  
“Okay, okay. Tomorrow, we’ll start looking tomorrow. You, me, Marissah and Jay will go and look for a house.”  
“Alright, you call Jay and tell him to come to your place, I’ll go kidnap Marissah.”  
“Sounds tight! So its girl’s night plus Jay, sound good to me!” she laughed, “See you soon babygirl!” and with that I heard the click of a phone disconnecting. It always ends up being a family affair when big news comes about. Like when Jay was enlisting, or when I was going to get married; when Nicolette got her first tattoo and when Marissah was going to move to fucking Connecticut. Yeah, we all sit down and have family discussions because we are family. I don’t care what anyone says, they have been there through it all and being an only child I want that feeling of having family. Yeah, I have my dad and he’s awesome, but he’s never home because he’s always away because he drives eighteen wheelers. He’s on the road all the time going all over the place and he loves it. Me? I’m stuck at our small empty house we got after mom died. We got a little two bedroom house for the two of us, we didn’t need the big place anymore.   
I throw on my pink and green Monster energy drink sweat shirt, daisy dukes, and converse high tops and put my hair into braided pig tails. I spray myself with axe, then put on my deodorant. I gotta smell good at least, I mean I showered and everything but it’s nice to have that extra hint of something on me. I grab my overnight bag and take the keys off the hook before I leave the house. I’m debating on whether I should bring Nitro with me to see Cece and Donavin. Nitro is my black lab-pit bull mix puppy. He’s about seven months now and he’s my baby, I trained him up to be the best protection dog in the universe. He knows his commands in English and Spanish, and he knows not to hurt other animals or people unless I tell him to. Yeah, that’s my babyboy. Cece and Donavin are Nicolette’s pomeranian puppies. They’re a little yappy, but they always have fun with Nitro. Yeah, I’ll bring him.   
I text Nay to let her know that me and Nitro are on our way and then I text Marissah and tell her to pack the booze, were having a girls plus Jay night at Nays.   
So were going to Nicolette’s and Jay will be there too…family meeting…what happened? She texted back. Oh shit, Marissah knows us all too well.   
Nothing really happened, Nicolette just wants a family night. I’ll explain when were all together.  
Ohhh so it has something to do with you! Okay mami I got you.  
I didn’t even bother to answer this message. How she know it has to be about me? Why can’t it be about Jay? Ugh. I light up a joint and smoke it while I’m winding down the road. Driving high is my specialty, I feel like I drive better high because I’m more aware of everything. When the j is gone I throw the roach out of the car and roll down all the windows to let the smoke out. I drive for another fifteen minutes and I’m almost at Marissah’s when a cop pulls out behind me, check my speed, fuck. Eighty-Five in a sixty-five and there go the sirens. I pull the car over and check my face in the mirror, no blood shot eyes. I pop gum in my mouth for no weed breath. I’m glad I didn’t hot box my shit or I’d be toast. The officer comes over to the car, and it’s Officer Johnson! We go way back, he arrested me in ’09 right after graduation. I got caught fighting a girl who was trying to slash my tires. He took me in, booked me, and then I got out on bail. In court they found me not guilty because I was protecting my property. Anyways, he asks for my license and registration, looks at me and says, “Well Miss. Watson, how are you this evening?”  
“I’m good Officer Johnson, how have you been?”  
“I’m fine, just doin’ the rounds. You know why I’m pullin’ you over?”  
“Speeding?”  
“Yes ma’am. You were actually driving recklessly so you will have to appear in court for this one.”  
“Alright I can do that. Not a problem.”  
He handed me the ticket and told me to have a nice night then got into his car and sped outta there like a bat outta hell. Fuck cops man, they can pull me over for doin eighty-five, but when they do it it’s okay. That’s bullshit.   
I finally pull up to Marissah’s and the buzz is finally getting back to me, stupid cop fucked it up. Marissah comes out the front door and runs to the car, her hair is a mess and she’s holding one shoe in her hand. Yeah, she was fucking someone and they went out the back door. Oh Marissah, I love you so much. She slides in, front gives me a hug and looks at my eyes.   
“Girl, your blazed!”   
“Yes, I am. And I got pulled over this way, look at the ticket!” Marissah grabs the ticket and mutters Damn Girl under her breath. I light myself up a cigarette and offer one to Marissah, but she refuses. She doesn’t like the taste of cigarettes too much.   
We get to Nicolette’s and go around back to meet up with the other two, Nitro is at my side. I unlatch the gate and Jay comes running up like a mad man and throws me over his shoulder and spins around a few times, like I didn’t just see him two days ago. He puts me down and kisses me on the cheek, then does the same thing to Marissah.   
“Nitro, release.” I say to my babyboy and he runs off into the large fenced in yard to play with Dingo, Jay’s dog, Cece and Donavin. I make my way to the table, still blazed, seeing the fireflies light up the night. They make the whole back yard feel like the inside of a Christmas tree. I love Christmas, it makes me happy. Mommy and I used to open Christmas presents together while daddy videotaped it. Mom always did enjoy seeing my elated face as I opened my presents. I miss my mom. I hate Christmas.   
“Okay, so now that we all have drinks and cigarettes have been lit by their respective smokers, dish it Rika!” Nicolette says to me, and all three put their eyes on me. Waiting for me to answer. Aw, shit. Where do I even begin?  
***

I finish telling the story, every detail, every last one down to how her god damned sweat smelled. Yeah, they wanted to know that too. My friends are kinda grodey, but hey, that’s mi familia. I light up another cigarette and answer any and all questions they have, being submitted to interrogation is nothing new to me. Everyone has a question, and me? I always have an answer.   
“So she said she’s had a crush on you for five years now?” Jay asks.  
“Yup, five years. I don’t see how a girl who looks like she has so much confidence could be afraid of lil ole’ me.” I say with a little southern belle accent. Yeah, I have a southern accent normally, but this one sounds more proper, innocent. Yeahh.  
“Well Rika, you are kinda intimidatin’ and what not.” Says Melissah, “I was afraid to talk to you at first too and I met you freshman year! You were a tiny little twig when you were fourteen, but you got somethin’ about you that just makes people afraid.”  
“Do I really scare people that badly? I mean I know I’ve been trained in fighting since I was eight years old, but that doesn’t make me scary.” I said, as I stood up to get more rum and coke. I really didn’t understand how a little five foot four inch, twenty year old girl, weighing in at a buck thirty could intimidate anyone.   
“You got mad strength Rika, and not just physically,” said Nicolette, “You have the strength of like a thousand men in your brain. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a situation you couldn’t fix just by talkin’ your way out of it.” She laughed.  
“Well I couldn’t talk my way out of that ticket!” I said, motioning back to my car.   
“That was your own fault, you shouldn’t have been driving that fast, and that high. Where was your radar detector?” Asked Jay.   
“Um, it was in the glove box..I totally forgot to hook it up.” I said, putting my head down and lookin’ like a school girl bein’ lectured. It’s true I never drive without that thing, it’s gotten me out of some mad ticket situations. If it wasn’t for that thing, I’d be sittin in jail next to a big mama named Sally. Also, these mother fuckers I’m with right now have kept me outta jail. Jay being the muscles that holds me back from beatin’ bitches, Nicolette being the voice of reason that calms me down after said bitches run their mouths, and Melissah who gives me a hit to calm down even further. Oh my god, I love my family.   
“Well look y’all it’s four in the morning and I have to go to work tomorrow.” Melissah says, standing up and walking towards the screen door.   
“Yeah, we should all turn in. Some of us don’t have to work,” Jay throws a mock sneer my way, “but others of us have to make money to get that house of ours.”  
“Shut up, I made a lot of money off my fights, and you know the other reason…” I say, walking down the stair to the basement.   
“Yeah…we all know Rika, we don’t mean anything by it. Were just messin’ around with you!” Nicolette says, and lays down on the futon, motioning for me to join her.   
“I know you are, and I love you all so much!” I say as I crawl into bed with my sister, lay in the crook of her arm and gently fall asleep into dream land.

I get up the next day round noon and Melissah and Jay have already left. Nicolette is all wrapped up in her blankets because her basement feels like an ice box. So much for lookin’ for a house today. I crawl over to the edge of the futon and check my phone for any new messages and I have a text from a number I don’t know.   
So Erika, you wanna do something today? I dropped the shawty late last night. She was causing some drama. Hit me up if you wanna chill.- Jaysen.   
Well shit! I didn’t think she would actually text me. That’s stupid Rika, what else was she gonna do with your number? I thought for a second about what I wanted to say, how I wanted to word this. I don’t wanna sound too desperate, but I also don’t wanna sound like I don’t wanna see her either. I got it.   
Yeah, let’s hang out. Where do you wanna go?   
Smooth, very smooth. Not too pushy, but you kinda let her know you’re interested in her. Yeah, you still got it. Am I talking to myself now? Really? Go me.   
I thought we could head over to the dog park. I have a pit bull that needs some play time.  
I look over at Nitro, laying on the floor with the poms curled up next to him. Yeah, Nitro would love a day at the dog park.   
Alright, sounds good. Me and Nitro will meet you there in say, half an hour?  
Tight, see you then pretty lady   
Oh my god, she called me pretty lady. I didn’t bring a change of clothes. Jesus Christ, okay, So I just have to work with what I have in my overnight. I take off my Monster hoodie, and realize I did not bother to put on a shirt last night. I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. God damn, could I look more like a raccoon? I look around Nicolette’s bathroom and find her makeup remover and clean my face off completely, then I borrow her face wash and wash it again. Finally, I reapply all my makeup. Once I’m happy with how I look, I throw on my white wife beater, spray myself with axe and check myself over one more time. Yeah this look gets my seal of approval, but do I have to look like such a farm girl? I take my hair out of the pig tails and let it flow down my shoulders and back. This is much better. I fuss with it a little until I’m happy with it. Yeah, I look hot. I walk out of the bathroom and Nicolette is awake, looking groggy and tired.   
“What time is it?” She asks me.   
“It’s about twelve ten,” I say, “You are gonna be late for work!”  
“Aw shit, not again!” She says, getting up and going to her closet.  
“It’s alright babygirl, you’ll be fine! But I gotta go, I’m taking Nitro to the dog park.”  
“The dog park?” she asks as she pops her head around the corner.  
“Yeah, were meeting Jaysen and her dog there.” I say, my cheeks turning pink.  
“Oh my goodness! Well get your pretty ass outta here! Go get your girl!” She said and with that I call Nitro to my side and we make our way through the house, out the door and into the car. 

I’m driving down the highway to the only dog park in town and I’m psyched! I can’t believe she actually texted me, actually wants to see me. I check myself in the mirror a couple times and make sure there’s nothing in my teeth, not that I’ve eaten anything today. I really hope she likes how I look today, I got as dolled up as I could considering I was at Nik’s last night. Oh my goodness, what am I going to say to her? How do I even begin a conversation with this girl seeing as I know nothing about her. I know she likes to watch me fight, and that’s it. That’s all I know about her. I know she has a pit bull, but is it a boy or a girl? I could ask that. No that sounds stupid. Nice weather we’re having today? Cheesy. What the fuck am I doing? I shouldn’t have said I’d see her today, alone. It would have been easier with my friends around, I could have played off of them. How do I know I’m even her type? I’m not. She’s into little short, preppy blonde chicks. That much is obvious from her girlfriend on the dock. I’m not preppy, I may be little, but I’m certainly not preppy. Or blonde. Oh, I know what I could say, “Hey Jaysen, are you tired? Because you’ve been runnin’ through my mind all day.” Nitro gives me a look, and I know that look. He’s thinking, Mommy, don’t be cheesy, you’re not that stupid. Yeah, corny pick up lines will not help in this situation here. I should just turn around, go home and text her saying I have the stomach flu. That’ll gross her out though and she’ll never want to see me again. Okay, so I have to go see her. I have to. I mean, I don’t know why I’m so worried, she has a girlfriend. So what if she’s had a crush on me for five years? People have crushes all the time and never do anything about it. She probably just wants to be friends, I shouldn’t do this to myself. She just wants to be friends. That’s all. Okay so I’m here, and there she is. God damn, she looks amazing today. Quit it Rika, get into friendship mode, because this right here, is not going to be anything more than that.   
“Well it’s about time, I was worried you were going to stand me up.” Jaysen says, a small waver in her voice. I think nothing of it.   
“Sorry I’m late. It took a little longer than expected to get ready today.” I said, fiddling with my belly button ring again.  
“This is Bella.” She says, petting her blue pit on the head. “She’s about eight months old, I’ve had her since she was a puppy.”  
“This is Nitro, he’s my body guard. He’s a black lab-pit mix, about seven months old and I’ve had him since puppyhood as well.” I say, then turning to look at Nitro I say, “Release.” And he runs off to go play with the other dogs.  
“Well that was a cute trick.” She says, taking Bella off her leash and letting her run after Nitro. “How long did it take him to learn that?”  
“Not very long,” I say, taking a seat on the bench and motioning her to join me, “He was a fast learner. I got him for protection, he knows all his commands in English and Spanish and he barely ever leaves my side.”  
“That’s adorable. He’s cute, like his mommy.” She says, looking over to watch the dogs play.   
“Thanks.” I say, my cheeks turning pink. I can’t think of anything else to say to that, it just makes me want to giggle and put my arms around her, but I fight the urge. We sit there for a while and start to talk about tattoos. All together she has seven, and my favorite is the one on her hips; it’s a big tribal tattoo that swirls around from her lower back all the way to the front of her hips in an intricate criss-cross fashion. The lines and curves of the design fit her nicely, and you can’t exactly tell where one line starts and another begins, and at the ends of the designs that are right on her hip bones in the front words form across her pants line. The words say A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left. After reading this I say, “Marilyn Monroe?”  
“Yeah, it’s Marilyn. I love that quote. I haven’t exactly lived by it, but it sounded pretty, so I put it on my body.”  
“I think it looks amazing.” I said, staring into her eyes.   
“Can I see your tattoos?” she asks, moving closer to me.   
I feel a jolt in my heart and my body goes a little stiff. “Um, yeah, sure.” I say, and pull the back of my shirt up and show her my tattoos. Most of mine are on my back and on my sides, with one in front right on my sternum. The first one she sees are my painted on wings connected by the Irish Claddagh. She traces the wings with her fingers and reads the inscription under the claddagh out loud, “When it comes to love, Mom's the word. For all the ways you've helped me grow, I want to say I love you so. January 27, 1965 – August 8, 2004.” She continued tracing the wings until she reached her starting place. When she finished I pulled down my shirt and turned to look at her; her eyes were sad, like she didn’t know what to say or how to react. I just looked at her, smiled and took her hand. The jolt of energy went through us again, but this time we didn’t take our hands away. We just sat there looking at each other for a minute, like we could say everything we wanted to just by the way we looked into each other’s eyes.   
Our moment was broken by our dogs running up to us and licking our faces. We both laughed, but in my head I was thinking. This wasn’t something that just friends do, and that wasn’t anything I had ever done with just a friend. There was something there, but I don’t want to fuck this up, so I’ll stay quite…and just hope that someday she realizes that I want her, and that she’ll want me just as badly. 

“So I’ll see you tonight?” I ask Jaysen as she’s walking me back to my car.   
“Yeah, I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss a party for anything.” She said, leaning against my car.  
“Alright, well then I’ll see you later.” I said, smiling and giving her a quick hug. With that I got in my car and turned the engine over, watching in my rear view mirror as she got into her eclipse and drove away. 

I open the door to my empty house, and let Nitro go eat. He’s such a good boy. I lock the door behind me and throw the overnight on the floor. Today was amazing and tonight is going to be even more amazing, I can’t wait to see her again, and that feeling isn’t so new to me. I can’t stop thinking about her smile, her laugh, the way she traced the outline of my wings and just sent my entire body into a crazy shock of feeling. It’s like I haven’t been touched in years. It has been a long time since a woman touched me the way she did, and yeah it gave me a bit of a tingle down south. I’ve gone six months without sex, and to be honest I miss the fuck out of it.   
I go to my room and strip down to nothing and look at myself in the mirror. I haven’t lost my figure, and I’m contemplating new tattoo ideas. I look at my toned arms and wonder how a sleeve would look. It would be an ode to my favorite movie of all time; The Nightmare Before Christmas. I could have Jack and Sally standing on the hill looking into each other’s eyes, with zero floating right beside them, then under the hill I’ll have the mayor and other characters scattered all down my arm, and right on the top of my shoulder I’ll have Oogie Boogie’s shadow in the moon. That would look bad ass. I’m gonna do it. I turn around and check my back side, looking at all the ink I already have. I brush my hand across my lower back where my TapOut tattoo is placed. I got this one shortly after I turned seventeen because fighting was my life then, and I even had offers to be a face for UFC, but with what happened I had to decline. After thoroughly checking my body in the mirror, I grab a towel and head for my bathroom. I turn on the water and let it warm up, and turn on my radio to my favorite country station. If I Were a Boy the Reba version comes on and I let down my hair. I look one more time in the mirror before stepping into the hot shower. As I’m washing my hair I think about the possibilities of tonight and what could happen with Kat. I’ve never felt something so strong in my life, not even with Katie. With Katie it was just easy, we started dating and just went from there. It was sorta boring actually, the same things happening everyday for two years. I feel different with Kat, like everything is new and all of this after two times meeting her. Strange.   
I towel myself off and put on matching pink laced bra and panties. This bra makes my C cup sized boobs look about two times larger, and I kind of like it. I go to my mirror and start to do my hair; blowdry it, take a straightener to it, then use the curling iron on it. I used hairspray to set it and fiddle with the part of my hair. Perfect. I walk over to my closet and start digging through the crazy amount of clothing I have, trying to find the best outfit for tonight. Can’t be too covered up, but I also can’t make it looking like I’m just giving it away. I go through and try on about a million different outfits; dresses, t-shirts, strapless, and tubetops. Finally I choose a little hot pink cammi and a pink and black flannel to wear over it with a pair of daisy dukes. Add in a belt and some pink flip-flips and I look hot.

***  
Melissah and I pull up outside the liquor store and I hand her two hundred dollars. “Get whatever you want, but make sure you get a couple cases of Smirnoff for me. You know I hate the taste of beer.”  
“It’s all good ma, I gottchu.” She says and leaves. I watch her walk into the store and text Nicolette to tell her to bring three big plastic tubs and get about nine bags of ice. We always provide the alcohol for these parties, so everyone else brings the food, blankets to sit on and the music. My buddy Roger brings his truck and sets up a speaker system in the back so we can have music blasting, just the way I like it. My crew always throws the wildest parties, and half the time people end up skinny dipping in the lake. I don’t do that because I will not get naked in front of the opposite sex. Males are just so…nasty. I don’t really like men. Jay and my daddy are the only ones I get along with, and that has a lot to do with my past. Anyways, my point behind all this is; I, with the help of my amazing friends, throw one kick ass back woods party! Ah, there’s Melissah, and she’s motioning for me to come help her because she’s got a lot of alcohol to put in the car.   
After loading up all the alcohol we start our way towards the lake, blasting Lil Wayne and dancing to it like crazy fools. I’m hittin a hundred miles an hour down the high way, weaving through the small amount of cars until I hit the dirt road. I slow down and take the bend slowly, looking at the tree for a split second. There’s still a dent in it from the last major accident that happened there. It happened about seven years ago, the whole town was in shock after it happened. There have been some smaller accidents here and there throughout the years, but the one that happened seven years ago claimed someone’s life. Stupid oak tree. We arrive in our usually spot around dusk. Nicolette and Jay are already there; Nicolette is filling the buckets with ice and drinks and Jay is starting the bonfire. Roger scares me by honking his horn at me as he drives past me and whips his truck around so the bed is facing the fire.  
“God damnit Roger, do you have to scare me half to death like that?” I ask, clutching my chest like I was about to have a heart attack.  
“Yep! Gotta do it Rika, the look on your face is always priceless!” he says, hopping out of the truck.   
“Douche bag!” I yell back at him. He laughs and starts to set up the sound system, plugging it all up and doing whatever it is he does to make the music sound so good. Melissah and I start to bring more drinks and the keg around to where Nicolette is standing.   
“Soooooo how did your date go with Miss Thang!?” Nicolette asks in her cute little twang.   
“It went really well, she’s coming tonight actually.” I say, trying to sound nonchalant but the pink crawling up my cheeks gives me away.  
“Oh look atchu all blushing and such!” Jay says, as he gives me a playful punch on the shoulder.   
“S’not funny!” I say, making a funny face at Jay. We all laugh and go about our set up, the music turns on, I want to get lost in it so bad. That’s when Melissah comes up and taps me on the shoulder.   
“You wanna make this a real party?” She asks.   
“Um, fer sure! What do we have on our list tonight?” I ask.  
“Come over to the edge of the woods with me real quick.” She says and I follow her just inside the woods so no one can see us. She pulls out a little baggy full of multicolored pills.   
“What the fuck is that? Some of them are green, but it’s not the kind of green I’m thinking of!” I say, taking the bag and looking at them closely.  
“Ecstasy. They are awesome dude! We gotta try them tonight. Not yet, once everyone is here and it’s less noticeable that we are gone, but what do you think?”  
I thought for a minute. I’d heard of ecstasy before, but I’ve never done it. It’s definitely the most hardcore of drugs I could possibly do, but Kat is coming.  
“Kat is coming, will she be able to tell I’m on it?” I ask.  
“It will make you super horny girl. You’ll wanna take her into the woods and sex.” She said, laughing.   
“Well, I have always wanted to try it. Okay, let’s do it.” I say and we walk out of the woods. I’m so excited to try it, but I don’t know how Kat will react when she finds out I do drugs. 

Everyone is finally here, but I haven’t seen Kat yet, and I’m getting a little nervous she’s going to stand me up. I’m sippin on a Smirnoff when Nicolette runs over to me and says, “Take a double shooter with me, pleeease Rika!” She gives me the puppy eyes and I can’t resist those, so I follow her over to one of the two tables someone brought with them. One is for kings, and the other is for beer pong. We hit the kings table and she pours me a double shooter of crown. “Bottoms up!” she says as we clink glasses and drink the liquor. As I put the glass down I feel someone come up behind me and put their arms around me. I go stiff and my eyes go wide. I feel the hands on my waist as she turns me around and I let out a silent sigh of relief. It’s Kat.  
“I was about to smack the shit out of you! Don’t scare me like that.” I laughed as I gave her a hug.  
“Aw baby, I wasn’t tryin’ to scare you. Just surprise you a little.” She said, kissing me on the cheek. I’m used to that gesture because I’m part Hispanic. My father is from Puerto Rico, and my mother is Irish. It’s part of Hispanic culture to kiss a woman on both cheeks when greeting her, so I’m used to being kissed on the cheek. It doesn’t really phase me. She takes my hand and we walk over to the edge of the lake, watching people swim around with nothing on, and Kat turns to me, looks me up and down and says, “Let’s go for a swim.” There’s a sparkle in her eyes that she’s lookin for trouble, and she wants to make trouble with me.   
“Um, I don’t get naked in front boys, it kinda weirds me out. Like a lot.” I said, looking down at my feet and kicking the dirt.   
“Aw baby, it’s okay. I don’t mind. But why don’t you like to do that, I mean boys are gross but why won’t you do it?” she asks me, taking my hand and walking me over towards the fire.   
“Its kinda personal, and I will tell you eventually. But I don’t wanna tell you in front of so many people.” I say, kinda muttering my words so that only she could hear me.   
“Alright, not a problem.” She says as we sit down on the tree trunk. She puts her arm around me and we get lost in conversation about, well, everything. I find out that she is twenty four years old, and works at an auto shop off of Sugar Snapp Road, which incidentally is my auto shop. Of course I haven’t gone into the shop in a while, at least not since she started working there. She told me if I brought my car in she’s take good care of it. That car is my baby, I don’t trust a lot of people with it, but with Kat…well I’m starting to trust her with more than just my car.   
While were deep into conversation Melissah comes running up and says, “Erika, come into the woods with me! Come into the woods with me now!” a huge smile going across the pretty face. Her shoulder length magenta hair is glowing in the fire light, making her look like a fire goddess.   
“Do you mind if I go with her for a little bit?” I ask Kat.   
“Not at all, I’ll be over at the beer pong table, I wanna play a couple rounds.” She says, as she kisses me on the cheek.   
“I won’t be long.” I say as I take Melissah’s hand and run into the woods. 

“Are you ready?” Melissah asks as she hands me a pill, and takes one for herself.   
“As ready as I’ll ever be. “ I say. We look at each other then put the pill on our tongue and let it desolve in our mouths. I don’t feel anything and ask her, “Are these supposed to do anything right away?”  
“Um, I don’t know man, but if so this was a total rip off!” Melissah says. And with that we wander out of the woods to join the party. 

I find my Kat and ask her to dance to Kiss Me, that 90’s song that always made my knees weak. She takes me out onto the dance floor and puts one hand on my waist, the other in my hand. I put my other hand on her shoulder and look into her gorgeous hazel eyes as we start to rock gently to the music. She spins me around and I feel like a princess, she pulls me closer to her and whispers, “What would you do if I kissed you right now?”  
“To be honest, I would melt in your arms.” I say, pleasantly shocked by the question, “But Kat I know you have a girlfriend. I wouldn’t feel right about it.”   
“You don’t have to worry about her Erika, I broke up with her the night I took her back. She is nothing compared to you. You’re all I’ve wanted for five years now, can I kiss you?” Her eyes are intense as they look into mine, they’re sending chills down my spine and makin my legs shake like the dirt below underneath my feet is cracking.  
“Please, kiss me.” I say. Her lips meet mine and a fiery explosion makes its way through my entire body, her arms wrap around my waist pulling me closer and closer to her. My hands are on the back of her neck, not wanting to let go of the sweetest kiss I’ve ever had in my entire life. When the kiss ends and I finally let her go, I look into her eyes and realize that the drugs have taken effect. All the colors around me have amplified, especially the amazing mix of colors in her eyes. I smile at her, watching the brilliant gold flash in and out as she blinks her eyes. She realizes something has changed about me, takes my hand and leads me to the edge of the woods.  
“What’s wrong babygirl?” she asks. I hear a slight panic in her voice. Well shit, this could be bad.  
“Can I tell you something and you not get angry or upset with me?” I ask, scared to tell her my dirty little secret.   
“Of course, you can tell me anything Rika.” She says, as she kisses my lips again. I feel a tingle between my legs. Oh of course these pills would make me horny NOW.   
“I took an ecstasy pill tonight. It just started to take effect, and everything looks so…I can’t even describe it. It’s like everything is moving in slow motion, and there’s a tail of color at the end of moving things. Like if I move my hand like this,” I say, moving my hand in the air in a twisting, circular motion, “there is just a trail of colors behind it.”   
“I know that feeling; I’ve done X before baby. And I’m not mad, I do drugs too. I just wish you would have told me so I could have done them with you.” She laughs and pulls me in closer.   
“Baby, will you come with me. I want to find something.” I say.   
“Of course I’ll go with you. Where ever you want to go, I’ll follow.” She says, kissing me on the nose. I giggle and take her hand and walk towards the stream. She is quite as we make our way through the woods, grabbing my waist when I lose my balance and kissing the back of my neck as we walk. Every time her lips touch my skin the tingle between my legs gets stronger, and I know I’m getting wet. When we reach the end of the stream we find a cave, its dark inside and I can’t see anything inside.   
“Let’s go in!” I say.  
“Baby, we can’t see anything. Have you been in there before?” she asks me, giggling.  
“No, I haven’t, but you said you’d go anywhere with me. And I have a flashlight app on my phone. Come on baby, let’s go!” I say, pulling her inside with me. We walk through the cave; the hard rock I feel with my hands is unusually soft, like I’m not inside a cave but on a cloud. I really am an angel now with my wings. Finally we come to an opening in the cave, and the full moon is shining down into it, revealing a small waterfall and a deep pond at the bottom of it.   
“This is beautiful.” I say, sitting down on a smooth rock.   
“Yes, you are.” Kat says, looking at me. I stare up into her eyes, and she looks back at me. All words have been lost, but we know exactly what the other is thinking. She sits beside me and kisses me gently, stroking my face with her hand and brushing my hair back from my face. Her other hand finds my hip and pulls me closer as she starts to explore my body with her lips. I let out a soft moan as she kisses my neck, it’s always been my weak spot. Her hands make their way to the bottom of my shirt and she removes both of them easily so all that is left on is my bra. I kiss her again on the mouth, harder this time, the passion building up in my body, taking over my core. I take off her shirt and she lays me down on the rock. “Don’t move baby, let me take care of you.” she whispers in my ear. I let myself give into her, and I give all of myself to her. She’s doing things to me no woman has ever done to me before. Yes I had girlfriends before Katie and Katie was alright, but all of them were clumsy. Kat had no problems with my bra as she easily unhooked it with one hand and slid it off my body. She took one of my breasts in her hand, the other into her mouth softly licking my nipple and making my pussy so wet, I thought I would cum right on the spot. She made her way down my stomach and teased me at my hips, nipping at my hip bones and kissing a line between them. When she knew I couldn’t handle it any longer she took off my daisy dukes and panties and placed them on the ground beside us. “Are you ready baby?” she asked me.   
“Yes baby, I’m ready for you. Please..” I said breathlessly. And with that she softly licked my clit, making my mind and body explode with such pleasure I couldn’t control myself. I moved my hips in rhythm with her tongue and grabbed her hair, letting out a moan of sheer pleasure. She kept going, steady on my clit making me throb. When my body started to thrash she went harder and faster, holding my hips in place. I was getting there, yes oh my god, I was almost there. So close I could feel my climax coming. She kept me steady the entire time, and when she let go of my hips she let me ride out my orgasm until my body went still.   
She crawled up beside me, put her arms around me and held me. She kissed me on the forehead and said, “How do you feel?” I looked at her, and couldn’t even think of words to say, so I just kissed her. We fell asleep together in that cave, and she didn’t let go of me all night. I felt safe in her arms, like nothing in the world could touch me. I was falling for Kat Sterlling, and I couldn’t be more happy about it.   
***

In the morning the hot summer sun washes through the opening of the cave, waking me up. I look at Kat sleeping next to me, looking like the picture of perfection. Her face is calm, relaxed and her chest is moving up in down with her breath. Her arm is still around me, holding me tight to her like she doesn’t want to let me go even in her sleep. I look down at myself and realize that I am still completely naked. I want to get dressed before she can see my bare body in the sunlight; imperfections are much more noticeable in the daylight, so I try to move out from under her arms, but this jostles her awake. She stares up at me with a smile and says, “Good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep well?”  
“Yes, I slept very well baby.” I say, smiling back and trying to cover up my bare chest with my arms.   
“Now why you tryna’ do that babygirl?” She says, pullin’ me back down into her arms and kissing my forehead softly.  
“Do what?” I ask innocently. I know exactly what she’s talking about, but I don’t wanna admit exactly what I was doing.   
“Tryna get up and get dressed before I wake up.” She says.  
“Umm, well, I just thought…you know I didn’t want…I don’t know.” I said, feeling my face get a little hot.  
“Aww, your blushin! You are so cute when you blush!” she says, wrapping me up in a bear hug and kissing me till I give in again, totally lost in her touch, her kiss, and just her.   
“Baby…BABY!” I say, tryin to wrestle my way out of her embrace. “I gotta go home, I need to feed Nitro cuz Lord knows my daddy hasn’t done it.”  
“Ok, I’ll follow you there!” She says, jumping up. I get dressed and tie up my hair into a messy bun, and we start walking out of the cave, through to woods, and back to my mustang. Her car is parked further away, so she climbs in the passenger side and I driver her to her car. We don’t talk much, she just hold my hand as she flips through my iPod to find a good song. When the song, Look at What I’ve Done to Her by Chris Cagle, came through my speakers I turned to look at her, and she smiles at me. Okay, she’s smiling..she must just like this song. I pull up next to her car and give her a kiss before she gets out. “Follow me, if you think you can keep up.” I say, shooting her a devilish grin.  
“Oh baby, I can keep up witchu, don’t worry about that.” She said, as she got out and closed the door.   
I drove my baby past the big oak tree, and out on to the dirt road. I grab my iPod, enough of this country shit, I’m about to get hardcore in this bitch. I turn on Trashed and Scattered by Avenged Sevenfold and once I reach black pavement I whip a hard left and race off down the road. I look in my rear view and she is keeping good pace with me. I smile and think of playing a game with her, she thinks she can really keep up with me, let’s give her a challenge. I weave in and out of traffic, the speedometer steadily rising as my foot gives more gas. I easily shift through the gears; my baby roars to life as I open her up, she loves it when I give her all she’s got. Now we’re flying through the traffic, swerving, dodging and cutting off them slow mother fuckers out here. I get to my street and look behind me, and shit, she did it. She kept pace with me the whole entire time. I smile to myself, she can keep up with me and for some odd reason it turns me on. We pull up to my house and here is a car outside that I don’t recognize. I sit across the street for a few minutes, Kat stays in her car. I think she knows I’m waiting for something, and I’m glad I waited.  
I tall blonde bimbo with huge fake tits walks out my front door with a pair of ripped, bleached jeans and a tank top that was two sizes too small. She kisses my daddy on the lips, says something to him and then goes to her car. As soon as she is gone around the corner I jump out of my car and charge towards the door. I’m not even thinking about Kat anymore, how the fuck could my daddy do this to me…   
I swing the front door open, Kat is right behind me. I raise my hand, about to strike him and Kat grabs both my arms and restrains me, holding me back from attacking my father. She can’t stop my words though. I start to yell at my father in his native language, maybe he’ll fucking understand me then.  
“¿Como pudiste hacer esto a mi mama?” I yell at him, struggling against Kat’s grip to get at him. “Cuando ella solo lleva siete años de muerta, y tu te hacer acostado con una puta. ¿Como me pudiste hacer esto? Tu insignificante pedazo de mierda. No puedo creer que nos hayas echo esto a mi madre y a mi. Mi mama fue algo mejor que una puta gringa hipócrita. ¿Por que lo hiciste? ¿Por que la trajiste a esta casa? ¿Por que?!?”   
“Bueno tu trajiste una cabrona lesbiana marimacho, ¿y cual es la diferencia?” he says to me.  
“¡Te odio!” I scream at him. I call for Nitro and he runs to my side, growling and bearing his teeth at my daddy. I take Kat’s hand and walk her out the door. “Leave your car here.” I say to her. She climbs into the passenger side of my car again, Nitro jumpin’ in after her and makin his way to the back seat. This time she didn’t fiddle with the iPod, I think she knew I was pissed beyond belief. I get in my side, and slam my door shut. I turn over the engine and let her roar to life. I shift into first and peel out of my neighborhood, driving to the only place I know I will calm down. The only place that matters. Dead Man’s Rock.

“Can you believe him!?” I say to Kat, climbing up the side of the trail, Nitro is in the lead knowing exactly where we’re headed. “Can you believe the nerve of that, that, fucking bastard!”   
“No baby, I can’t,” she says, following me along the trail. “But can you explain to me what was said so I understand? I don’t speak Spanish.”  
“Oh you’re going to love this one.” I said, as I reached the top. I sat down on the grassy floor and looked out over the town. You can see just about everything from up here. Nitro lies down beside me and relaxes, knowing that no one here will hurt me. “So basically I said to him; How could you do this to mom? She’s only been dead for seven years and you go and fuck some whore. How could you do this to me, you worthless piece of shit, I can’t believe you would do this to me and mom. Mom was so much better than some fake white bitch. Why did you do this? Why did you bring her to this house? Why!” I repeat the words in English, they sounds just as harsh as they did in my second language. “So after that he says to me; Well you brought a fucking dyke home so what’s the difference?” I repeated the words and tears started to form in my eyes, “So I turned around and told him I hated him and that’s when we left. Now we’re here, and I just want to cry.” I said, falling into Kat’s lap and bawling like a little girl as she stroked my hair and tried her hardest to calm me down.   
“It’s just not fair,” I said about ten minutes later. My makeup has for sure smeared down my face and I probably look like the corpse bride. “Why does he get to just move on from her and be happy? How come he gets to just pick up another chick, probably from a street corner and just forget all about mom and I have to drive by that fucking tree every day? Why doesn’t he hurt like I do?” I ask. She looks at me with sad eyes again, she is unsure of what to say to me, I can tell. Instead of letting her say anything I say, “It’s okay, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I don’t want to go back to that hell hole either. Fuck it, I’ll stay at Melissah or Nicolette’s until I find a house. We’re supposed to find one anyways, but they are all so slow I might as well just find my own one bedroom trailer.”   
“No baby, you don’t gotta move into a trailer. Why don’t you move into my place? You know just until you and your crew can get settled in a house. You are more than welcome to sleep in my bed.” She says, smiling her beautiful smile at me.   
“I can really stay with you until me and the crew get on our feet? I’ll play you rent, I have the money.” I say, hasty to try to convince her when she already offered the place.   
“Of course love, my bed is your bed.” She said, smiling at me.   
“Thank you so much.” I say to her. She’s doing so much for me and I’ve only really known her for three days. It feels like I’ve known her all my life, like knows what I’m all about from inside out. “Um, baby, can Nitro stay too?” I ask, pettin’ my babyboy on the head. “I can’t leave my babyboy like that; dad will put him in the pound for sure.”   
“Of course you can bring him! One question though…” she said, trailing off.   
“What is it?” I ask.  
“Is he fixed?”   
“Umm, no, he’s not. Why?” I ask, really confused.  
“Nothing, it just looks like we’re gonna have some puppies on our hands!” she laughed. 

A couple days have passed and Kat and I have been completely inseparable. She’s been helping me pack up and move out my shit, with little breaks in between for us to have…well…special time. Hehe, oh how I love special time. Anyways, we’ve moved most of my small stuff into her place, and she cleared out some closet space for me as well as a couple drawers. She even put in a shelf right over the dresser for some pictures of me and my mom, and for me to put my bong on. My bong is so pretty; it’s the shape of a female. It got boobs and the weed goes in her coochie. It’s got three colors in the glass; green, yellow and red. Yeah, Rasta colors, that’s a sign of a true pot head.   
I’m in our room, hehe our room that sounds nice, and I’m putting away some of my clothes while she’s at work. Nitro is out back with Bella playing in the yard, I can see them through our upstairs bedroom window. The house we live in is nice; its two floors. Downstairs we have a living room, kitchen/dining room and a half bathroom. Upstairs we have our bedroom, a guest bedroom and a full bathroom. I’m staring at my bong now; Kat did say I could smoke in the house and I haven’t had a chance to since I moved in. I take the bong off the shelf and go to the bathroom to put some water in it. I’m so vain that I can’t even go in the bathroom without checkin my makeup in the mirror; my black eyeliner makes my green eyes pop and my choice of red lipstick for today is especially flattering with the black mane that surrounds my face. Anyways, after I finish putting water in the bong, I go back to the room and sit on the queen sized bed and take the baggie off the night table. I start to pack the bong, breaking up the weed and pickin out the seeds and stems and throwing them into the trash can at the foot of the bed. The bong is ready and I pull out my pink lighter and let the sucker burn. I suck in the smoke and it hits my chest hard, I almost cough but hold it in my lungs knowing that keeping it in will get me that much higher. The first hit really never gets me to the point of no return that I crave, so I keep smoking it up until the bong is out. I’m feeling it now, the weightless high that I always chase. I go back to the bathroom to pour out the water and check my reflection again; yeah Kat is going to know I smoked today, my eyes are so bloodshot they look like little red bugs. I walk back to our room, guiding myself with the wall. The floor is twisting underneath me like a fun house floor, and the walls are spinning around me like the cylinder at the end of the fun house. I know it’s all an illusion, an effect of the burning high I now feel through every inch of my body. I put the bong up and pack the weed away safely knowing my baby is going to want to smoke when she comes home, and I will want to join her in adventure.   
I lay my head back on the pillows and stare up at the ceiling; she has posters of swirls of color, two very sexy females kissing, Bob Marley, and 420 things to do when you are high. Oh my god we were made for each other. As I’m reading the 420 thing to do when you’re high, I feel myself falling into a dream. My eyes are closing and I’m losing myself in a swirl of blurred color and I’m out like a light. 

“Wake up sleepy head.” I hear her voice, and feel her shakin my arm to wake me up.  
“Hmm?” I mumble, turning myself over to look at her. My vision is blurry from the sleepy’s in my eyes, but I can see her outline clearly. She hasn’t even changed out of her work clothes, I can see the oil stains on her white wife beater and I start to go to touch it. She grabs my hand and says, “Nope, you’ll get all dirty and then it’ll take forever for you to get ready for the party tonight.”  
“Party?!” I say, shooting up from my sleep.  
“Yep, we’re having a party tonight and everyone is going to be here. Melissah, Jay, Nicolette…EVERYONE!” she says, laughing and kissing me.   
“What may I ask is the occasion?” I say, getting up out of bed with nothing but one of her wife beaters and my pink thong on. Hmm, I don’t remember being in just this when I passed out. I must have gotten hot or something. I’m notorious for stripping down to nothing when I’m sleeping.   
“I just thought we could relieve some of your stress from moving out and the fight with your dad if we had a party. You don’t have to worry about anything baby, I planned it all out with your crew.”  
“Alright, sounds good. But what am I going to wear to this party?” I ask, looking through the closet.  
“Well definitely not what you have on right now,” she states, looking me up and down. “That’s MINE!”  
“Ohh look who’s gettin all protective and shit over here” I say, turning around as I take off the wife beater.   
“Mmm, don’t you go doin’ that to me baby, you know I can’t resist you.” She says, biting her lower lip.  
“Who said you have to resist?” I ask, and that’s when she grabs my hand and pulls me on top of her. 

The noise from downstairs is at its max, but over it all I can hear Jay yackin it up with a female. She might be interested from the way he’s talkin’. Oh don’t make a fool of yourself man, bein’ macho and all “look-at-me-I’m-a-marine!” Marines are so full of themselves sometimes. It wouldn’t have mattered if I had touched her shirt or not, she knows it takes forever and a day for me to get ready. I finally finished with my hair, and threw on an Avenged Sevenfold beater that I got from a concert with some skinny jeans and my chucks. Good enough for me.   
I’m walkin down the stairs and I hear Melissah shout, “What the fuck are you doing here Katie!” I booked it down the stairs and I’m greeted by the devilish smile of Katie Jenkinson.   
“Katie, what the fuck are you doin’ in this house?” I snarl at her. People start to crowd around us and I can hear Kat fighting her way through the masses to get to me.  
“Oh nothing Rika, I just came to party. I heard it through the grape vine that there was a party going on. You know I can’t resist a party so I decided to stop by and fuck with you a little, you know, the usual.” She laughed, and tried to make her way past me.  
“Get the fuck out of this house Katie,” I said as I grabbed her arm. “Or I will wipe that smirk right off your wicked face.”  
“What is goin on here baby?” Kat asks, putting her hand on my shoulder.  
“Kat, I’d like you to meet Katie. My ex fiancé I told you about. She was just leaving.” I said, a tone of loathing in my voice.  
“Oh, I’m not going anywhere.” She said, grabbing a drink from the closest person and knocking it back, “I don’t drink and drive.” She states, laughing harder.  
“Well I don’t care where you go, but you better get the fuck out of our house! If Erika doesn’t want you here, I don’t want you here. This is our house.” Kat says sternly to her, anger rising in her voice.  
“What, you defend this bitch?” she asks Kat, “Do you even know what she is? She’s a dirty little whore who let the entire Varsity Football team run a train on her in high school. She’s a nasty, filthy, slimy whor-” she couldn’t finish her sentence because Kat had right hooked her in the jaw. I stood there and watched as Kat beat the fuck out of Katie. Katie got some shots in there, hitting Kris in the jaw and stomach, anywhere she could connect her fists to. But Kat was stronger. She got Katie on the ground and hitting her everywhere she could. I saw blood spattering on the hardwood floor and I yelled for her to stop. Kat looked up at me with a look as though she didn’t understand why I said it, then looked down at Katie and said, “Just get the fuck out of my house and don’t you EVER come back here.” With that Katie jumped up and yelled, “You crazy bitch!” and ran out of the house.   
“You can all go back to the party now.” Kat says to everyone who. They had somehow managed to cram themselves into the tiny foyer to watch the fight. She turned her head, looked me in my eyes and said, “Erika, I need to see you in our room, now.”  
***

She’s standing at the open bedroom door, waiting for me to go in. I walk slowly past her, I can feel her breath on my skin she’s breathing so hard. I sit on the bed and wait, staring at her. This can’t be good. She slams the door and is facing it, one palm spread out on the door, the other clenched in a fist at her side. Yeah, this really isn’t good. I don’t know why she is so angry with me, but something tells me I am about to find out.   
“Was what she said true Erika Madilyn?” she asked, her voice in a low growl. She refused to look at me.   
“Are you kidding me?” I ask her, shocked as shit that she is asking me this question.   
“No Erika, I’m am being completely serious right now.” She says, the growl rising in her chest, turning to look at me. I look into her eyes, she’s not angry. She’s hurt.  
“Baby, come sit with me. I have a lot to tell you.” I say, patting the spot on the bed next to me. I can’t believe this is how I have to tell her this. She sits across from me, so she can look at my face.   
“Erika, is it true?” She asks again, almost barking the question at me.   
“No, not the way she said it..” I said, trailing off. Where do I even begin this story? I took her hands in mine and started to relive the story I’ve been trying to let go of since I was fifteen years old. “Okay…so she was right about the Varsity Football team, but what she wasn’t right about was that I went with them willingly. I was working out in the school gym; you know getting in shape for my next fight. Well, the football team was there too, and there were a few there who had been eyeing me funny they whole time. When there were only six of us left in the room, I started to get nervous and started to go to leave. That’s when the big one grabbed me. I tried to fight him off, but his friends came to help him. Three of them dragged me down to the boy’s locker room while the other two followed. I struggled, tried to scream, but they had me gagged with a sweaty towel. Kinda nasty actually. Anyways, they stripped me down and threw me into the showers. That’s when the big one unzipped his pants and said he’d go first. I screamed as loud as I could, but no one came. They all took turns with me, and when the last one finished they all looked at me, laughed and turned on the shower. ‘Clean yourself up, you nasty bitch’ one of them said, and they left.” Now I’m shaking, and Kat is giving me a puzzled look.  
“So five different boys raped you, and they didn’t get in trouble? No one came to help you?” she asked.  
“No, no one could hear me. All the coaches were gone by then. And our school is ghettofied. We don’t have security cameras or nothing.” I said.  
“Did you try to press charges?” she asked.  
“Of course I did! But I couldn’t prove it was them. When they turned on the shower all the physical evidence was washed away. It was five against one, and I lost.” I said, putting my head down.  
“Baby, I’m so sorry!” she said, pulling me into her arms and holding me like a baby, rocking me back and forth. “I’m so sorry I made you tell me like that, and I’m sorry I got so mad at you. I had no idea that you’d gone through that baby, I am so sorry.”   
“That’s not all,” I said, bracing myself for the hardest part of the story, “One of the boys, I don’t know which one, ended up getting me pregnant. I carried my little boy for nine months, and when he was born, on June third in 2005, I gave him up for adoption. I was too young to be a mother. I didn’t bother doing the paternity test; at that point it was pointless. I gave up my son in a blind adoption, so I don’t know where he is or how he’s doin’, he’d be six years old now.” I said, my eyes welling up. “That was my biggest mistake in life, givin up my own son. Now I wonder if I coulda raised him, if I coulda been a good mom.” I couldn’t speak anymore, and Kat understood. She didn’t ask any more questions, and didn’t ask me to say anything more. She just held me in her arms and rocked me until I was finally calmed down. 

“I’ll give you a minute to adjust yourself, then you come downstairs and find me baby. I don’t want you leavin my side with all these people here.” She said, a tone of worry in her voice.   
“I’ll find you baby, don’t you worry about that.” I say. She shuts the door and I go to the closet. I’m changin outta these clothes and wearin something a little more comfortable, I got no one to impress up in this bitch. I spend a minute takin off these skinny jeans and put on a pair of basketball shorts. After the shorts I put on my boy jeans and let em sag a little. I keep on my A7X beater and put a black zip up Monster hoodie over it, pullin the hood right over my head. I walk to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror and fix my makeup. Crying just doesn’t agree with my makeup…AT ALL! I fix myself, doin everything to the nines, even if I am goin stud for one night I gotta look good doin it, and damn, I look like one ghettofied bitch! But hey, I can kick it like this. I go out the door and walk down the stairs to the massive party, lightin up a Newport on the way down. I see girls dancing with dudes, people havin a good time. I smile to myself and think of just how amazing my baby is to me. She did all this for me, just to make me feel better so I’m going to have a good time and not let some dumb cunt get under my skin. I’m lookin’ around for my baby when Jay grabs me and puts me up under his arm. I look up at him and he’s smiling down at me, a big boyish grin I’d know just about anywhere.  
“So you woulda fought her if Kat hadn’t done it first right?” he asked.  
“Yeah, but you know if I’da fought her I would have killed her.” I said, being completely serious.  
“Most definitely.” He said, “But it wasn’t right of her to put your shit on blast like that.” He told me, all joking gone from his voce. He hands me a coke and rum and I knock that bitch back like nothing. I do love drinkin, and tonight I’m about to be shwasted outta my fucking mind.   
Kat comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my tiny waist. She asks me if I wanna do a couple shots with her and we’d never really drank together so of course I’m gonna do it. We walk into our kitchen and she pours us both a double shooter of Skyy vodka, we clink our glasses together and it was bottoms up; the vodka hit my throat hard and burned the shit outta it. She pours another and I down it again, the burn gets a little less with this one, but I still feel the burn running down my throat. Damn, I miss the days when chasers weren’t considered a pussy thing to do. Were on our fourth shooter; which since these are double shooters we’ll say I’ve had eight shots, I tell her I need to stop.   
“Aw baby, come on, just one more shooter?” She asks, puppy dog eyes flashin at me. I can’t resist those eyes.  
“Alright, you win baby. But we need to slow it down on these my love, I mean shit its only 11:30!” I say.   
“Alright baby, bet. Now, bottoms up!” and we pour the shooters down our throats. God damnit, I’m so drunk already I can’t even walk straight. We walk out of the kitchen, both stumbling and fallin into each other. We make our way out the screen door in the back and run into my crew. Melissah hands me a crown and coke and tells me to “sip on that shit” because I am so far gone. I take a sip of the drink through a straw; classy shit right here. Were all sitting in the grass and watching the mad party goers out back when all of the sudden someone breaks out a Frisbee and starts to throw it around.   
“Oh my god Frisbee!” Melissah says, as she puts he drink down and runs into the yard yelling, “Pass it here, pass it here!” I almost fall over laughing at her. She kicked her shoes off and is running around barefoot in the grass. Hmm, who needs shoes in the summer time? Not me! I take my shoes off and place them by me on the ground, I don’t really want to get up because I’m going to fall down I know it. So I scoot myself over to Kat, snuggling up to her in the grass. She put her arm around me as she’s talkin to Jay about some military shit he’s doin. Something about how they’re going to Quantico for some field simulation and how he’s going to be there for the next weekend coming up. For some reason I really can’t concentrate on his babble about his career. I look up at Kat, blinkin my eyes so that the world would stop spinnin so fast, and by the look on her face she wasn’t really listening either. Her mind is somewhere else, maybe on our conversation earlier, maybe on something else. She seems so far away. I pull her back down to earth by pullin on the collar of her polo; she looks down at me and smiles, pulls me to her and kisses me. It goes straight between my legs; yeah I get really horny when I’m drunk…or high…you kno just me on a daily bases is a sex fiend. But tonight it is especially bad. I’ll just try to contain myself till we go up to bed, if I don’t pass out before then.  
“Kat Motherfuckin Sterlling!” I hear someone yell from the screen door. I’ve never heard this voice before, but she has. It’s like she’s forgotten I’m laying on her and she jumps up to greet this girl, letting me fall into the grass face first. I pick myself off and look over to the door and see a pretty blonde girl, she’s short and dressed in a tank top and daisy dukes. I know this girl, it’s her ex. The girl from the dock. Kat grips her shoulders, says something in audible to me then takes her wrist and drags her inside. My buzz is gone, I feel completely sober now and I’m pissed. She forgot all about me as soon as her ex walks in the door? No, that’s not how this lady does her shit.   
“Nicolette, can you come with me to the bedroom?” I ask her. She knows my tone of voice, the one that says we need to go somewhere and quick.  
“You wanna go for a drive honey? I’ve only had a drink and that was about an hour ago, I’m fine to drive.” She says, helpin me stand up.  
“Yeah, lets go for a drive. I just need to get outta here. I didn’t need to see that.” I said, walkin to the screen door and blasting it wide open. I ask where Kat went and someone pointed to the front door. Nicolette is ruffling through her purse tryin to find the keys to her truck, but I’ve already made my way through the house. People who stood in my way, I pushed em. I’ve probably made a bad impression on people here, but then I’ve lived with these people all my life. They know better than to toy with Erika Madilyn. I swing the front door open and see the blonde girl crying and hear Kat saying, “It’s been over for weeks, and I don’t see how you didn’t think it was. When I said, we’re done, I mean we are DONE!”  
“But how can you do this to me Kat, we were supposed to move to California and start a life of our own!” she cries.   
“I’ve made my life here and it’s with Erika, so I’m sorry but you have to go.”  
“This isn’t over yet, she’ll never give you what I can, never!” she screams.   
“Goodbye Kristin.” Kat says and walks back towards the house, leaving Kristin there crying like a little lost puppy. Kat see’s me standing in the door with my purse in my hand. She walks up to me, kisses my cheek and asks sweetly, “Goin’ somewhere love?”  
“Uhh, me and Nay were gonna run to the store to get more cigarettes. Were both out. Do you want me to get you some?” I ask.  
“Yeah, you know my brand.” She says smiling.   
“The same as mine!” I say, smiling back. I give her a kiss, and let her arms embrace me.   
“Hurry back baby, I don’t want you gone too long.” She says.   
“Okay, I’ll be back soon.” I say and kiss her on the cheek. Me and Nicolette walk to her truck and she hops in and opens my door before I get to it. Nicolette is such a sweetheart, she is always doin things like this, but I think it’s because Alex is inside. Otherwise Nicolette wouldn’t even be touching a door knob! Anywho, were drivin down the high way to hit up the Sheetz and she’s blastin If I Die Young through the speakers.   
“So why did we leave? You and Kat seemed quite happy when we left the house.” Nicolette said, turning into the Sheetz.  
“Um, well I was mad at her before because you know that blonde girl? Yeah…that’s her ex and she randomly showed up and you saw how they walked away together.” I said.  
“Yeah, but I think she didn’t wanna cause a scene you know?” She said. She looked over the counter and said, “Three packs of Newport’s Henry, please?”  
“Comin’ right up Miss Hernandez.” Yeah, Nicolette gets free cigarettes here because her daddy owns the place, and the shop right next to it. So Nicolette got it pretty good, he daddy loans her money sometimes when she absolutely needs it. But I think once she moves out daddy stops helpin her, and that is no bueno. Ah, well, were workin on our place and that’s all that matters. She’s gotta put some gas in her tank so I tell her I’ll be right there and I run to the back to grab a couple Monsters and a big bag of Skittles. I need my junk and my energy!   
“You bout ready to go Nay?” I ask, walkin’ up to the truck and throwin my bag in the passenger side.   
“Yeah, almost done fillin this bitch up!” she says, shakin’ her truck slightly to get more fuel in the tank.  
“Alright well let’s get a move on, shall we? My buzz faded fast, and I think I wanna get back to my baby..”  
“That’s so cute Rika! Have y’all made it official yet?” she asks, as she’s pullin out onto the highway.   
“Umm…no we haven’t. But I don’t think we really need to. I mean I think it’s kinda implied seeing as we live together.” I say, which sounds about right. I haven’t really thought about it.   
“Well, she loves you boo. I can see it in her eyes, the way she looks at you is unmistakably real. Not even Katie looked at you that way.”  
“Yeah, she really didn’t. I mean I looked at her that way. I really did love the girl, but now I hate her with every inch of my soul.” I say, Nicolette nodded in agreement and turned up the song. She started singin along to some country tune and I lit up a cigarette. I sat back in my seat and looked up at the night sky through my window. It must be round two thirty now, it’s all dark and the sky is lit up with the brightest stars I have ever seen. I been around, mom and I used to go on trips all the time because daddy was always on the road. But of all the places I’ve been none of the stars compare to the ones in my home town. In high school me and Nicolette used to take her truck out to the lake and bring blankets and such and stick em in her truck bed and just lay there all night lookin at the stars and talkin about everything. That was our escape; when I couldn’t stand my father’s mouth and she couldn’t take her mother’s constant nag we always found an escape within each other. But then I guess that’s why we are sisters. 

Were back at the house and the party has thinned out a little bit, but it’s still goin pretty good. I look in the key jar and it looks like we got all the keys from everyone drinkin. I don’t do drinkin and drivin. I walk up to my room to go put away my purse and I find two random people makin out in my bed.   
“Get the fuck outta here!” I say, shooing away a redheaded girl and her big marine boyfriend. “Y’all need to learn some respect and NOT try to sex in the host’s bedroom. Now scoot!” Oh my goodness I sound just like my mama, that’s kinda scary. I look nothin like my mama, I got my dad’s Puerto Rican blood all through my veins, not to mention his DNA. I guess since I got my looks from dad, and trust me they are good looks, I had to have gotten my personality from mom. At least I have a way of carrying on her spirit.   
I’m changing for the third time tonight; this time into a wife beater and pajama pants when my baby comes in the room. She’s takin off her shirt and her jeans, doin exactly what I’m doin. Her bare body just looks so good, I could die lookin at it. She has a slight farmers tan, but it fits her well. Her muscles are nicely toned and her tattoos fit her curves perfectly. Yes; my baby has curves but she hides them extremely well. Hey, I don’t complain, I get the best view in the house.   
“You getting ready for bed or somethin’? I ask her.  
“Nah, I just wanted to get into somethin’ a little more comfy.” She says to me, pullin on some flannel pants and a black beater, “but baby, I got a question for you.”  
“What is it?” I ask.  
“You wanna get high?”  
***

“Yes! Of course I wanna get high,” I say chessin’ a big grin, “when do I ever NOT want to get high?”  
“This is true but I thought I’d ask my love.” She said, taking out her bowl and cleaning it out. She’s meticulous about her weed smoking, or that’s what I’d gather from how she’s preparing now. She’s takin an unbent paperclip and stickin in through the pipe and cleanin out the gunk and rezin left in there. Then she takes out a grinder and puts a little nug of weed inside and grinds it up into almost a fine powder; finally she packs the bowl up and takes the first hit. Watching her inhale and hold it in, closing her eyes and tilting her head back slightly. She looks like she is really enjoying this; she finally lets out the smoke and passes me the bowl. I take my pink lighter from her and let the weed burn. I suck in the smoke and take it deep into my lungs, letting the burn enclose me. I look up at the ceiling, dorkishly counting. When I reach fifteen, I can’t hold it in anymore, so I let it out; a thin cloud of smoke escapes my lips and Kat shivers a little.  
“Cold?” I ask.  
“Nah, you look damn sexy when you smoke.” She said, takin the bowl and lighin another hit for herself. We pass it back and forth for three bowl packs until the contents are gone. Its official; we are both extremely fucked up.   
“Do you reallllllllllly wanna go back down to the party?” I ask her, layin my head on her shoulder and drawing circles around her chest with my finger.  
“Come to think of it, no, I really don’t. I’d rather spend the rest of the night right here with my babygirl.” She said, kissing my forehead.   
I climb on top of her and look down at her; her eyes are blood shot but she still looks perfect to me. I run my fingers through her hair and trace her face with my finger nails, and when I move to her neck she shivers and grabs my wrist.   
“Don’t you go startin’ somethin’ you might not finish.” She says, lookin into my eyes, a playful sparkle runnin through them.  
“Baby, I have every intention of finishin’ what I start.” I said. I go to take off her shirt and she sits up, wrapping her arms around my waist and pulls me closer to her. I get her shirt and sports bra off and kiss her gently on the lips; I know that starting out gentle really turns her on. I play with the hairs on the back of her neck as I kiss her, slipping my tongue between her lips and dancing it around her mouth. Her legs part a little as I slide my tongue down to her neck and continue dancing my tongue over her soft skin. I push her back onto the pillows and smile up at her as I lower my mouth to her right nipple. I give it one quick flick with my tongue and it’s enough to make her moan.   
“Baby, quit teasin!” she whines, but I know she loves it when I tease her. I kiss my way down to her hip bones and lick just below her boxer shorts and her hips buck at the slightest touch of my tongue. I kiss my way back up and kiss her lips again, harder this time, as I slip my hand down between her legs. I feel the hot wetness from her pussy on my fingers as I glide my fingers over her clit, making her hips buck again. She grabs my hair and pulls my lips from her face, “Baby, quit teasin me, oh my god baby please just fuck me.” She says, and I gladly do as she wishes. I kiss my way down again and slip off her PJ bottoms and boxers and toss them aside, and I lower my lips to her tight, wet pussy. I flick my tongue over her clit and she starts to go nuts, thrusting her hips with the motion of my tongue. I go faster, letting her grab my hair and push me further inside her, letting her ride out the orgasm as she wishes to. She lets out a small scream and then she is still. I give her one final lick before I make my way back up to lie on her chest. She wraps her arms around me and sighs before lighting up a Newport.   
“Baby, that was, oh my god, that was amazing!” she says. She takes a drag of her cigarette; I feel her chest rise and fall as inhales and exhales. We sit there for a while like that, cuddling and talking a little before I hear a faint snore coming from her chest. My baby is sleeping now, so I turn off the light on our bedside table, curl up next to her, and fall asleep in her arms. 

“Kat, KAT!! Wake up, something is up with Bella!” I hear Nicolette saying the next morning. Kat and I wake up and pull the covers up over our bare bodies. It’s nothing that Nay has never seen before with me, but with Kat right there I’m sure it’s a little awkward.   
“What’s wrong with her?” She asks, grabbing a t-shirt off the floor along with a pair of boxers.   
“I’m not sure, she’s jut acting funny and Nitro won’t leave her side.” She says, looking at me.   
“Baby, you don’t think…” I say, looking at Kat and trailing off.   
“There’s only one way to find out!” She says. So we all get dressed and head off to the vet to see if our little Bella is in the family way. 

We arrive at the vets office, and Kat is holding Bella’s leash, stroking her belly. I’m resting my head on her shoulder, thinkin about what the puppies are gonna look like if she is pregnant. She’s a pretty blue pit, and my babyboy is a black lab pit mix. What if they come out black and blue? I mean, she’s not really a blue-blue color. More of a grayish-blue. I think they’re going to be super cute, I mean Nitro has a little white on his paws, so they might even have some white in them. I really hope she is pregnant, I want to have little puppies runnin around in the   
back yard. They’d be like our babies. Well first and foremost they’d be Nitro and Bella’s but they would also be mine and Kat’s. I’d like that.  
“Bella?” the vet tech comes out and calls’s Bella’s name and Kat and I stand up and take her back into the room. She’s a big puppy, so we both have to pick her up and put her on the examining table. The vet came in and asked all the standard questions then he took her back to do the sonogram. Kat and I sat there like nervous parents waiting for our baby to come back. When the test were all finished and done with the vet brought her back and she was an upbeat, happy girl.  
“Its official, Miss. Bella here is going to have nine puppies!” the vet said.   
“Nine?!” I said.   
“Holy shit.” Said Kat.  
“Yes, nine puppies. Take good care of her and feed her a special diet. Since she lives outside I’d suggest that about a week before the puppies are due you make a little nesting box inside for her and let her stay there.” He said.   
“I’ll get on building that as soon as we get home.” Said Kat, a big smile on her face.   
“The puppies should be arriving in about fifty five days, so be prepared around October fifth to bring her inside and prepare for the birth.” He said.   
“Not a problem, we’ll be ready. Any kind of special diet she should be on?” I asked.   
“Give her two cups of food four times a day and make sure he gets a lot of water.” He answered.  
“Thank you doc, I guess we’ll see you in October when we bring the puppies in.” Kat says. And with that we take Bella back home. 

“Oh my goodness, nine?!” Nicolette says, as Alex lights up a cigarette for her. Nicolette and Alex had come over for dinner that night, so were all sitting out back around the table having a cocktail before dinner.   
“Yep, nine. Were going to have nine puppies on our hands.” I say, letting Kat light my cigarette.  
“Well damn, what are you going to do with all those puppies?” Asks Alex.   
“Well we can’t possibly keep them all, so we’re going to sell some of them. At most we’ll keep two of the puppies. I think Nitro and Bella would throw a fit if we got rid of all their puppies.” Said Kat, looking over at Nitro and Bella laying in the grass next to each other.   
“That’s crazy, were you planning on having puppies?” asks Alex.  
“Actually, we didn’t plan on it but we knew it’d be a possibility because that’s one of the first things I asked Rika before she moved in.” Kat said laughing. The conversation continued, the studs starting talking about their cars so Nicolette and I excused ourselves and went inside to check on dinner. Me and Nay always liked to cook together; plus if we cooked the boi’s had to clean! We were makin’ Pasta Italliano, which was something we made up our junior year of high school. Its basically six different kinds of pasta with homemade marinara sauce and huge meatballs. Not really anything special, but hey, it has a kick ass name! I was watching the meatballs simmer in the sauce while Nay was sprinkling the garlic powder over her amazing homemade garlic bread. Damn, our girls are so lucky to have girls who can cook. Nay puts the bread in the oven and says that it should be done in about fifteen minutes, and then dinner is served. We set the table, and since we both used to work as servers in an Italian restaurant we had the table lookin like something straight out of a fancy restaurant. We poured red wine in the glasses and put the food on the table. Nicolette called the boi’s in for dinner, and both were absolute gentlemen; they pulled our chairs out for us before they sat down and didn’t serve themselves before we had been served.   
“Baby, this looks amazing!” Alex says, grabbing a piece of garlic bread.   
“Yeah, this looks delicious!” Kat agreed, taking a sip of her wine before takin a bite of her food. There was silence for about five minutes around the table because everyone was enjoying their food.   
“Damn, we do make a good meal, don’t we Nay?” I say to her, smiling and winking across the table.   
“Sure do sis! But you and I have always been a great pair in the kitchen.” She says.   
“In the kitchen and in crime, I’m so happy you are my sister.” I say.  
“Well I’m happy I have the most amazing woman to call mine.” Kat says, “and an equally amazing future sister-in-law.”   
“I’ll have to agree with you on that one.” Says Alex. We all continue to talk, eat, and have a good time. When everyone is finished eating, Nicolette and I excuse ourselves from the table for a cigarette and the boi’s join us before they have to get started on the dishes. Its now dark outside and the fireflies are dancing around in the trees, making the whole night bright. I’m watching the natural light show in front of us when I hear Kat’s phone go off and look over at the name on the caller ID.  
“Kristen?” I ask.  
“Yeah, she’s been blowing me up. Texts, calls, voicemails, facebook messages, the whole nine yards. I haven’t answered her, but I don’t think she’s getting the hint.” Kat says, sounding annoyed.  
“Here give me the phone baby.” I said. She handed me the phone and I hit the answer button. “Hello?”  
“Hi! Kat? Yes you finally answered. Baby please can we work this out, I know we had our fights but-“ she couldn’t finish her sentence.  
“Nope, not Kat. Erika. I don’t mean to be rude, I really don’t. But Kat is with me now and it makes me very uncomfortable that you are still hitting her up on the constant. If you could please respect that she is with me now, I would very much appreciate it.” Kat gave me the thumbs up for being so polite about it and not going off like a bitch.   
“Look bitch, I don’t know what Kat has told you, but she will always come back to me. ALWAYS! She’s not going to stay with some pretty girl country bitch for too long. She will get bored and come back to me. So I hope you have your tissues ready, because you will be crying yourself to sleep every night when she comes back to my bed.” She went off on me like no tomorrow. Kat heard the whole thing, I mean who couldn’t she was screeching at the top of her lungs. Kat snatched the phone away, and it was no more mister nice guy time.  
“Look Kristin, I have told you over and over again; I AM WITH ERIKA NOW SO BACK OFF! If you call this number again I will have it blocked so you cannot call and harass me or my girl anymore.” She said, her growl back in her voice.   
“Kat please, you don’t want to do this. I love you.” She said, tears in her voice.  
“Well I don’t love you anymore so please just leave me alone.” She said, and hung up the phone. She came over to me and hugged me and said she was sorry, and I told her she had nothing to apologize for. Then she looked over at Nicolette and Alex.  
“I am really sorry you had to hear that.” She said, genuinely sorry about her blow up.  
“Nah man, its cool, I would have done the same thing if my ex had gone off on Nay like that.” Alex said, squeezing her baby closer.   
“Well at least I’m not the only one.” Kat said, “Come on bro, lets get to work on the dishes. I think the girls need a sister moment.” She kissed me on the forehead and followed Alex inside. I walked over to the tire swing we had put up in the tree about a week ago and sat down in it. Nicolette walked up and pushed me in it and said, “You really love her don’t you?”  
“Yeah,” I said back, “I really do love her.”  
***

A few weeks had passed since the phone call, and it was now September. Fall was starting to kick in, time to put away the summer clothes and bring out the long sleeves. There’s always something about fall that makes me think. It seemed like more than two months and some change that I had known Kat, we had started to act more and more like a couple every day. She’d go to work in the morning and I would go down into the basement and train with the Everlast punching bag she had down there. Sometimes I’d be down there for five hours at a time, just training, and my body started to show it. The definition in my arms was like it had been back in the prime of my fighting days; back when fights were all I did. I didn’t party back when I fought, yeah maybe some here and there, but it was rare. Fighting was life and my friends knew that. Nicolette came to every match I had, and she would be ring side every time. Melissah and Jay came when they could, but they had their own things going on and I understood, but Nay always said she wouldn’t miss my fights for the world. She was there on the day of my last fight, as was Kat. Everyone was there. I was fighting Kat Camilla, don’t be fooled by her name, she is a female. Well, Kat and I were evenly matched, we had gone on for about five rounds with no knock outs. I’ll never forget that fight…  
“Baby, you down there?” Kat called.  
Yeah I’m here baby, come on down!” I called back. I hear her footsteps on the hardwood stairs and see her come around the wall to the “gym” area of the basement. It’s not really a gym, more like free weights, a bag, and a T.V. with workout videos thrown about. Funny, we have this at home and we could just go to our gym.   
“How long have you been down here today?” She asks.  
“Well I did some cleaning, laundry, went grocery shopping and got some clothes, so I’d say only about two hours.” I said.   
“Well can you take a break? I want some alone time with you.” She said, that devilish smile going across her face. I smile back and jump into her arms, wrapping my legs around her body. I kiss her, and she walks over to the wall and pins me up against it, and well…you know what comes next.

“Baby, I want to take you somewhere special tonight.” Kat says to me. Were in the kitchen putting away the groceries I bought. I put away all the perishable stuff, but everything else could wait.   
“Where baby?” I ask.  
“It’s a surprise, but do you know what today is?” she asks.  
“The anniversary of the night we first met.” I said, smiling at her. She comes up behind me as I’m reaching up to put a can of potatoes away and puts her hands on my hips. I fall back into her arms and she catches me and whispers in my ear, “You are the most amazing thing to ever happen to me.” I know she feels me shiver in her arms, she kisses my neck and tells me to go take a shower and that there is a surprise in our bedroom waiting for me. I turn, look at her, smile a huge kid like smile at her and run upstairs. She follows closely behind me so that she can see my reaction when I saw the most beautiful dress I’d ever seen. It was a light pink floor length number with crystal jewels around the straps. The bottom of the dress was crinkled, and there was hot pink mixed in with the light pink. The back, well there was no back to this dress, it dropped all the way down to my lower back. I turned to look at her.  
“This is gorgeous baby!” I said, jumping into her arms again.   
“I want you to wear it tonight,” she said, “were taking a trip to Richmond.”   
“Richmond? For why?” I asked.  
“You will see my love. I also have one more surprise. In that box.” She pointed to the box next to the dress, and I half expected it to be matching shoes. I opened the box, but it wasn’t shoes; it was better. I found a pink strap-on inside, I turned my head to look at her, a glow in my eyes. “Are you wearing this tonight?” I asked.   
“Would you like me to?” she said, a grin creeping across her face.  
“Yes! Oh my goodness that would be so sexy!” I said.   
“Then I will wear it baby.” She said, flashing me her gorgeous smile, “Go take your shower and get ready baby. Were leaving in two hours.”  
“Ok!” I say, running off to the bathroom to get ready. Oh my goodness I don’t know where she could be taking me in Richmond, and with such formal outfits…I have no idea. I can’t think of anywhere that we might be going. But oh my god, that strap is fucking SEXY. Hehe, my baby about to be packin tonight, and that is a major turn on for me. It’s funny, I can’t wait to get home tonight and were not even out yet, but I am so so so excited to see what my baby has in store for me. 

“Baby, are you almost ready? We gotta get going!” Kat calls from down stairs. I’m almost ready, just spraying on my last sprits of perfume, the one I know makes her go crazy. I walk out of the room and down the stairs. My hair is half up half down and curly in soft curls around my face. My makeup matches my dress, and I found heels to go with it. The heels make me about an inch taller than my baby, but I asked and she didn’t mind. I look at her, and the look on her face is..well I don’t know exactly how to describe it.   
“How do I look?” I ask, stopping on the second to bottom step.   
“I cannot even put into words how beautiful you look baby. You look..like an angel, my angel.” She said, walking over to the stairs and holding her hand out for me. I take it and she leads me into the light of our living room and turns me around, and looks at me from all angles. “You are so beautiful, I cannot believe your mine.” She says, pulling me in for a kiss. She kisses me softly, running her fingers over my bare back sending shivers down my spine. She takes my hand in hers again and walks me out to the car and opens my door for me. I get in and she shuts the door to her eclipse behind me and gets in on her side, starts up the engine and speeds off on her way to Richmond. Four hour trip; here we come!

We finally made it into Richmond four hours later and it was around eight thirty. The whole way up I was asking her where we were going, and she never wavered on tellin me. “Damn baby, it’s a surprise, let me do this for you.” She’d say. She did tell me that we were staying in a hotel for the night and that she gave Nicolette spare keys to our house to feed the dogs tonight and tomorrow morning. We drive up to a restaurant called That’s Amore, and park the eclipse. She gets out and walks around to open my door. I take her hand and she walks me inside, and I find that the restaurant has been cleared out so that tonight it is just us. The soft Italian music is playing and they have a small table set for two; candle lit and drinks ready.   
“Sorry baby, but since you aren’t twenty one yet sparkling cider was all I could swing.” She said, pulling out my chair for me.   
“That’s okay baby, I don’t mind.” I said, sitting down. This place is beautiful, it’s got the perfect mood setting and an Italian flavor that I love. She sits down across from me and I find out she has already had the chef make his best meal for us tonight, so I don’t need to order anything. We talk until our food comes out and then enjoy our meal and each other’s company. When we have finished the amazing meal, she stands up and asks me to dance. I hear the song playing and it was the first song we danced to; Kiss Me. She takes my hand and puts it on her shoulder, takes my other hand and puts her other on my hip and starts to sway me across the floor. She turns me, dips me, and glides me across the floor until the song is done. I go to sit back down and she stops me, reaches into the breast pocket of her jacket and pulls out a box. “This is for you, my angel.” She hands me the box, I open it and in the box is a silver chain with a heart shaped diamond on it. I look up at her, a shocked expression on my face. I have no words, but she says them for me.   
“Erika Madilyn, I love you to the stars and back, for forever and a day. I hope you’ll be with me always.” She says, taking my hand and kissing it.   
“I love you Kat Sterlling, and I always will. To infinity and for the rest of my life.” I say, kissing her lips. 

Were driving to the hotel now, I hope this feeling of bliss never leaves my body. Back at the restaurant she had put the necklace on me, and it fit my person like a glove. It went so well with my complexion and sparkled like a star. I love it, and I love her. it was so nice to finally hear her say the words I’ve been feeling in my heart for months now. It feels amazing to know I’m hers and she is mine. I wonder if this is official enough…I don’t care. She loves me and I love her and that is all that matters in my heart. We get to the hotel and get our room key, and are acting like teenagers on prom night with each other. We can’t keep our hands off each other and I am so psyched about what’s coming next. I know she’s packin, and tonight it’s not just fucking. Tonight, were making love.   
We get into the room, and it has a beautiful view of the city. She made sure to get a smoking room because she knew we’d both need a smoke after what was about to happen. My baby thinks of everything. I’m standing out on the balcony, taking in the night air, and she comes up behind me. I turn to face her and look into her eyes, those crystal blue eyes that have always made me melt, even from day one. She puts her hand on my lower back and pulls me to her, kissing me with so much passion, so much desire that I give everything to her; my body, mind, spirit, and heart. She picks me up and I wrap my legs around her waist as she carries me to the bed. She lays me down, not letting my head hit the bed without her hand there to catch it; she gently pulls my dress off and lets it fall to the floor. I’ve got nothing on underneath, my body is smooth ready to be touched and kissed all over. She had already taken off her jacket and now she is unbuttoning her dress shirt slowly as I watch; she knows I love the way her body looks and how perfectly it fits with mine. Now she has nothing on top, and she’s starting to take down her pants and boxers. Seeing her there, naked with just the strap-on, it makes my pussy ache. She climbs on top of me and starts to kiss me, with passion and fire that I have never felt in her before and believe me there has always been passion but tonight it has been amplified by about a million watts. She’s exploring my body with her hands, caressing every inch of my body and when her hand brushes my clit I feel the tingling urge to have her on me, in me. She feels how wet I am and knows exactly what I want. She slides her makeshift member inside me, and it feels like our bodies have just connected. I go in rhythm with the thrusting of her hips, never looking away from her eyes not wanting to miss one second of this. She goes faster, getting deeper inside me and hitting a spot that no one has ever got before; my body thrashes now with the amazing pleasure she gives me; that she has always given me. I scream out my pleasure, I scream out her name, and she collapses on top of me holding me tight to her body. She lifts herself up and looks into my eyes.  
“I love you Erika.”  
“I love you Kat.” She falls back on top of me and holds me until morning light comes. 

The next morning I wake up to the deafening sounds of my phone on full blast. I don’t want to roll over to look at who might be calling, I don’t even want to think about waking up. Kat is sound asleep next to me, not in the least bit phased by Beast and the Harlot screaming at her. I figure she has gotten used to my phone going off all the time. I’m not sure why, but I’ve always been a very popular person. Trust me, I don’t like it much. There are very few people in this world that I can actually tolerate but being me I am nice to everyone. My mother always told me, “Erika Madilyn, you be good to other and treat them how you want to be treated. It don’t matter if they are the meanest person on this planet; you always treat them with respect little lady.” My mother was very southern; her side of the family was from Texas. I remember after she died all my relatives came here for the memorial, and good God was it insane. I heard my mother’s voice everywhere I turned; all seven of her sisters sounded exactly like her. Surprisingly I come from a large family. Both my mother and father are one of ten brothers and sister, and each one had at least one kid. I can honestly say I do not know some of my cousins although we are all friends on facebook. It sorta blows my mind to think about.  
My phone rings again and I finally find my strength to roll over and look at the name. I don’t know this number, in fact its not even one from my state. I don’t answer it, I’ll let them leave a message for me. I set my phone to vibrate now because there is no reason for me to pick up the phone. Seeing as I am now wide awake with nothing to do I grab my cigarettes off the night side table and put on a long shirt. I’m going outside, it looks pretty out so I figure why not. I sit on the ground of the balcony and welcome the morning sun in my face; it’s still warm out which I don’t mind at all. The sun on my body always feels nice and when winter comes I usually lose my tan slightly, but only slightly. God, do I love being Puerto Rican. Kat comes walking out on to the balcony and just looks at me smiling.   
“What?” I ask her, feeling somewhat self-conscious.   
“You are just so beautiful.” She says, in her sweet morning grog. Neither of us is really a morning person.   
“Quit playin baby, you know I’m a zombie in the mornin’.” I say, crossing my eyes at her.   
“Even so, you are my zombie. My perfect, beautiful, amazing zombie.” She says, sitting down next to me and lighting up her own cigarette.   
“Do e really have to go home today?” I ask, not wanting to leave. I am just so happy with her in this moment and I don’t want to go back to the drawl of everyday life in Addison.   
“Yes baby, I’m sorry. I have work tomorrow early, and Pete is going to have my ass on the wall if I don’t show up.” She says.   
“Alright fine, but can we lay in bed for a little while longer?” I ask.  
“Of course my love, anything for you.” She says, blowing out her smoke and kissing me on the forehead. 

We’re getting our stuff together, getting ready for the long trip home when I hear her phone go off. Her phone rarely goes off, at least recently anyways. When I first started seeing her her phone went off every five seconds; it was absolutely ridiculous! She answers her phone with a, “OH MY GOD WHATS UP BABYGIRL!?” hmm..odd. They talk for a little while in a very excited way and I hear, “Ok, me and Erika will pick you both up on the way back home!” Ok, I’m confused dude.   
“That was the Ali.” she says, like I’m supposed to know that.   
“Who?” I ask.   
“Ali! Ali Lake? I never told you about her?”   
“No, not yet” I said.   
“Ali is my best friend from back home. Her and Amber Greenwald want to come to Addison to visit for a month. Is that okay?” she asks.   
“Of course, any friends of yours are friends of mine.” I smile up at her. We finish packing up our shit and head out on the road to Romney, West Virginia; her home town. 

“No shit son, you actually came!” yelled a tall, brown haired girl in black leggings and a Monster hoodie. I knew I’d be good friends with her; she’s a Monster lover, how could I not?  
“Duh, I’m here. I told you I would be.” Kat put the car in park and got out. She picked the girl up and spun her around and around. The other girl, a stud, stood there and laughed at the goodball antics. I got out of the car, pulling my high tops back on my feet and stood somewhat awkwardly at the car. I wasn’t sure what to do in this situation but Ali took care of that.   
“Oh my goodness, this must be the new boo!” she said, dislodging herself from Kat’s grip and running over to me. “Hi! I’m Ali! I’ve heard so much about you!” She said.   
“Hey, I’m Erika. It’s nice to meet you!” I said, smiling and holding out my hand.   
“Oh, Kat, she is CUTE!” she said over her shoulder. I instantly liked her, she was a fun girl and I felt like the month or so they would be spending with us was about to be a very very interesting one. 

***

Spinning, spinning, around I go and where I stop; who the fuck knows? I’ve been out here for hours while Kat and her friends have some catch up time. I don’t know why, but I felt rude sitting there and listening in on a conversation I had nothing to do with. I’m not mad, why would I be? Uncomfortable? Possibly. But I like it out here, the dogs are all the company I really need. I’m actually kinda alone in my thoughts right now which is never really a good thing. I keep thinking back to that last fight…you know the anniversary is only a few weeks away. Why does this still haunt me? I know it’s not my fault, no one could have known that it would turn out like that. No one knew that THAT could possibly happen…  
“Hey girl, why are you out here all by yourself?” Amber said, startling me out of my thoughts. In fact she startled me so bad I fell out of the tire swing onto my ass. She ran over to help me up; I grabbed her hand and hoisted myself to my feet. Smooth, Erika, very smooth.   
“Nothin. I came out to see the dogs and I guess I got lost in my thoughts.” I said. Okay, so it was a small white lie.   
“Ah, I see. I’m sorry I scared you. I didn’t mean to, I just looked out here and you looked lonely so I thought I’d join you.” She said, smiling.   
“Well that was nice of you.” I said, plopping down in the grass and lighting myself up a cigarette. I held the box out to Amber but she shook her head.  
“I don’t smoke.” She said, very matter-of-factly.   
“Oh, sorry.” I said, but that doesn’t stop me from smoking. We sit there in the grass and talk for a while and she tells me that she is in the Army but is on leave right now. She’s twenty years old and her birthday is not too long after mine, actually she is only four days younger than me. She’s cute; she’s got the military cut in her light brown hair and she is white. And I don’t mean she isn’t tan; no she is white, but it fits her. What really gets me are her eyes. They are blue, but more than blue, it’s like they shine silver. I’ve never seen anyone with eyes like that, they are beautiful. I can honestly just sit here and admire the beauty of them for hours. Wow, listen to me. I need to stop this; yeah she’s attractive. But that’s all she is. I love my Kat, I wouldn’t leave her for the world.   
“So Kat tells me you’re a fighter?” Amber asks.   
“Yeah, well, more of an ex fighter. I haven’t had a legit fight in over two years.” I said, looking down at the ground.   
“Oh really? What happened? If you don’t mind my asking.” She said, sounding sincere.   
“I haven’t really talked about it to be honest, not even with Kat. But she was there so she knows, she doesn’t really expect me to talk about it.” I said.   
“Well, if you do want to talk about it I’ll be here for a month. I’m always happy to lend a friendly ear to a fellow studs girl.” She said smiling a very cute smile at me. Her smile goes all the way to her eyes, so fucking adorable. We decide to go back in the house and find that Ali and Kat have disappeared. Her car is gone, so maybe they went to get cigarettes or alcohol or maybe even dinner! Damn, I didn’t realize it but I am freaking hungry! I grab a Smirnoff ice out of the frige and offer one to Amber, which she accepts. She opens mine for me and hands it to me, and her hand brushes mine. I don’t think anything of the small tingle I feel in my fingers. A touch from a stud has always been alluring to me; but she is not Kat so the feeling doesn’t travel all the way down south. She walks over to our couch (which folds out into a futon which I’m sure will be hers or Ali’s bed) and gets herself comfortable. I take a seat right next to her and turn on the TV and flip around till Titanic comes on. I stop, put the remote down, grab a blanket and curl up into the pillows.   
“You have GOT to be kidding me!” she says, laughing.   
“Don’t judge okay? I love this movie! I have ever since I was a little kid, I just think it’s so romantic. And it makes me cry, so I hope you have some tissues on you.” I say, giggling.   
“Ugh, okay fine! I will watch this movie with you. You’re such a dork!” she says.   
“No I’m not!” I say crossing my arms. “I just happen to like chick flicks seeing as HELLO I am a chick!”  
“I gotchu, stop yappin and watch your damn movie.” She says. Her phone buzzes and I feel it vibrate the couch. She pulls it out of her pocket, checks it, and looks at me. “They went to a strip club and are getting wasted. There’s a hotel right across the street, so they are staying there for the night so neither of them has to drive. They’ll be back tomorrow.” She tells me. I just nod my head and two seconds later I get the text from Kat and feel a little better about it.   
“Why do you think they are there?” I ask out of nowhere.  
“It’s a best friend bonding thing. They did it all the time back home.” She said, staring at the TV. She’s infatuated by Kate Winslet. I can just tell.   
“Oh…” I said. I’m not exactly sure how I feel.   
“Hey, I might just run out and get some food. I’ll call a cab or something, but I am starving!” she says, getting up.  
“No!” I say, grabbing her arm. “Please do not leave me here alone.” I say. She see’s a panic in my eyes and sits back down.   
“I won’t leave you here alone if you don’t want to be alone. We can order in, because I definitely just heard your stomach talk!” she says, smiling a very warm smile at me.   
“That sounds good to me!” I say, curling up next to her. I don’t know what happened there, but I realized for the first time in a long time; I do not want to be left alone. Maybe something in my mind has just snapped, but I all of the sudden don’t feel one hundred percent safe alone. 

“Dude, why are you sleeping with my girlfriend! Wake up!” I hear Kat yelling the next morning. Amber jumps off the futon and runs as far across the room from me as possible, like she’s been caught cheating. I sit up and look around; my vision blurred from the sleepy’s in my eyes. I don’t exactly know what’s going on, me and Amber must have fallen asleep on the couch watching Titanic, because I definitely don’t remember seeing the ending. I probably cried myself to sleep because I do remember bawling like a baby while Amber stroked my hair…hmm…  
“Kat, will you calm down please? We were watching Titanic and must have fallen asleep.” I say, though I don’t know if she understood me. My language isn’t exactly human when I first wake up. So I get up and walk through the house to get my Monster and a cigarette. I’m legit a zombie without it.   
“Get back over here. Now Erika Madilyn.” She barked at me. I got my Monster and lit up a cigarette on the way back in and plopped myself down on the couch.   
“What?” I said, not liking the tone in her voice at all.  
“Why were you and Amber asleep on the couch together?” she asked. Ali was sittin’ in the recliner watching, her jaw unlocked and mouth wide open.  
“WE FELL ASLEEP WATCHING TITANIC!” I yelled, not liking the accusation in her words.   
“And you just fell asleep?” she asked.   
“Yes! You know I bawl like a baby over that movie, I probably cried myself to sleep! You’ve watched it with me a million and a half times, and how many of those times have I fallen asleep!?” I said, getting defensive. Kat was getting angry, I could see it in her eyes; the soft almost red tint made me wonder just how angry I had made her. When she drew her arm back like she was about to strike me, I realized that I had made her very angry. I was so shocked I didn’t even try to do anything; I just stood there like stone. From the corner of my eye I saw Ali jumped into action; she grabbed Kat from behind and wrestled her to the ground.   
“Control your god damn temper Sterlling! I swear to God, you lay a hand on this girl and I will show you what real pain is. She is my fave out of all the females you have dated and I swear to God… ” I’m sure there was more, but Amber had grabbed my wrist and hauled me out of the living room. I guess I couldn’t move; I was too frozen by fear of what the love of my life was about to do to me. 

“No Kat that was not ok!” I heard Ali screaming from the other room. Amber has me at the kitchen table and she’s just staring at me like she’s worried I’m about to break down in tears. What I’m really concerned about it hearing what is going on in the other room.   
“Ali, I wasn’t going to hit her! I swear, I would never put my hands on Erika. I’d put my fists through brick before I ever hurt her.” Kat said, she sounded like she was almost in tears.   
“Yeah, but we are not about to have a repeat of what happened in Romney here. She is too sweet of a girl to have someone knock her teeth out.” She said, her voice calming a little.   
“Erika is a fighter, she wouldn’t just let me hit her without a fight. And like I have already said; I’d rather put my fits through cement before I ever hit her.” my baby said, the sound of tears choking her voice.  
“That may be true, but you need to control your temper Kat. You know what happened last time you let your temper get the better of you and I will not have you going back to jail.” Ali said. Before anything more could be said I got up and walked slowly toward the living room. It seemed like it took me ages to walk the short distance from the kitchen to the doorway; every step held uncertainty in them. When Kat saw me standing in the doorway the look on her face was hard to explain; it was a mixture of shame, sadness and apology all rolled into one. She started crying and ran over to me. I held my arms open and enclosed her in my chest while she sobbed the I’m sorry’s and I love you’s. I couldn’t say anything, I was just so numb from the experience. It broke my heart to hear the woman I loved more than life breaking down in my arms; to feel her tears washing over my body.   
“Baby, you scared me.” I said in her ear.   
“I k-know I did, and I’m s-so sorry baby.” She said, still bawling.  
“Don’t ever raise your hand to me again, you hear me?” I said, pushing her and arms length away from me so I could look into her eyes.   
“I wont! I p-promise! I s-s-swear!” she cried falling back into my arms. I couldn’t stay mad at her especially while she is sobbing in my arms. Every sob was like a knife cutting into my heart, she was truly sorry for what she was going to do; or rather that she scared me so badly. Looking back on it I knew Kat could never actually hit me but something in Ali’s words hit me; Kat had been to jail before. But for what? Domestic abuse? I can’t even imagine that. She has always been so good to me, but this time she over reacted to a bad looking situation that’s all. Finally, I took her hands and led her upstairs to our room, our space and our time.

We’re laying here in our bed giggling like little school girls high off of life. But to be honest we’re both high on weed. We went upstairs and had our sob fest; she couldn’t stop saying her sorry’s and I couldn’t help myself from crying. She held me for a long time and I curled into her. I took in her smell (which was clouded with the stench of night old liqur), her touch. I let her whole essence take me over and let her wash over me and inside me. After what seemed like a long while of cuddling we decided to bust out our pretty female bong and smoke till we went silly in the head, and of course that’s what happened. So now we’re both floating on a cloud laughing about a stupid joke I made when Ali looked in on us.   
“You love birds doin alright?” Ali asked, giving me a ‘is she being good?’ look.  
“Yes, we’re fine!” Kat said with her beautiful laugh filling the air.  
“You’re smoking without me Sterlling! How dare you?” she asks in a joking manner.   
“I’m sorry Al, but it was some special time alone with my girl.” Kat responded, kissing me on the forehead.  
“Well don’t forget, tonight you and I are taking that trip back up to Romney to get the rest of my stuff.” She said. Now I’m looking at Kat with a puzzled look and she kisses my nose and says to me, “Don’t worry baby, I won’t be gone long I promise. You can call Nicolette tonight and she’ll stay with you. Amber has to go with us to because, well Ali and Amber are moving in with us.” Her mouth was moving at a hundred miles per hour and I was thoroughly confused. We never talked about this. Kat got up and kissed me on the lips and told me she would be back in three days.   
“Three days!?” I said, jumping up onto my knees and perching myself on the bed like a cat. I have very cat-like motions when I’m stoned, I think I’m more graceful when I’m high though in reality I might just be a big klutz.  
“Yes baby, I’m sorry. It will take us three days to pack up all their stuff into the UHAUL and move it into storage until we can find a bigger place for the four of us. Eventually we’ll have to spend a weekend packing up this house and getting the left over stuff from your dad’s house” she said all this while putting on her jacket. She gave me a long kiss goodbye and I watched from the second story window as they all got into Kat’s eclipse and drove off.   
***

It’s raining outside tonight; that cold, damp, gross weather that no one really cares for. That cold September rain that makes you just want to curl up in your bed and forget the world exists. Bella and Nitro are in the house with me and Bella is curled up in her nesting box. Only a month now until she gives birth to her puppies and I could not be more excited about it. I think our new house should have a bigger back yard. I want a back yard for our puppies to play in…I would have wanted a back yard for my son to play in. God, I wish I could find him. He would have been a beautiful addition to the little family I’m creating. Nitro is following me around the house, my frantic pacing doesn’t seem to want to stop itself. Nicolette hasn’t gotten here yet but with this storm I don’t expect her here any time soon. In fact I don’t expect her here at all tonight, but it would be nice if she would call. She texted me over three hours ago saying she was swinging by Alex’s to pick up some clothes and cigarettes but that was three hours ago. I can’t believe this. What I really can’t believe is that Kat would ditch me like that. I mean I understand why she had to go, but why couldn’t she take me with her? I mean, Nicolette could have watched the dogs no problem. She left me alone in this house. Alone…I’m alone. Oh I’m so glad Nitro is here right now. I would be thrown into a panic attack without him. Oh great, my phone’s screaming at me, this better be an; I’m on my way!  
Hey boo boo, I’m sorry I can’t make it over tonight, the bridge is sunk because the river over-flowed! I am so so so sorry! Nicolette texted.  
FUCK! Why do I have to be here by myself? Why am I so afraid of being here by myself? I never used to be afraid to be home alone, this is a totally new feeling for me. Oh great, another text..  
Hey girl, can I come over tonight? Melissah asked.  
Yes! Of course! Come over please!? I respond.   
Sweet! I’ll be there in ten minutes. I’m walking.  
Umm, no you’re not, where are you?  
The gas station on Old Church.  
Okay, I’ll be there in five mintes! And with that I grab my keys, my bag and my Rasta colored hoodie and face the crazy ass storm outside. 

The rain is hitting my windshield hard and I can barely see the road in front of me. This has got to be one of the worst storms to ever hit our small town, and it’s getting worse and worse with every second I get closer to the gas station. I’m really glad Melissah texted me, I was about to have a full blown panic attack with being home alone. Then again, that wouldn’t have happened. Kat and I have a big baggy of weed sitting in the bedside table and I have a bottle of klonopins that I could easily take. Since I’m gonna be with Melissah tonight I’m sure that’s what we’ll end up doing; sit back, crack open some drinks, smoke and pop some klonies. Hmm, yeah, me and Melissah have a way of just understanding each other. We both don’t like to talk about our feelings much, but when we get fucked up its like we have a telepathy thing going on. Only one more light till the gas station, I’m so ready for tonight.

“She really just left you for three whole days, and hasn’t called or texted you yet?!” Melissah said when I told her why Kat wasn’t at the house.   
“Yeah, we’re getting new roommates.” I snipped the last word. Not that I don’t like Ali and Amber, I just really don’t want roommates, especially ones who don’t have jobs.   
“ROOMMATES! Dude. That’s supposed to be me and Jay!” she yelled.  
“Ugh, I know! I’m kinda pissed she asked them to move in without asking me first. It’s one thing if I wasn’t living there, but now that I am I wish she would have asked me.” I said, pulling into our driveway. “Let’s make a run for it, I am not liking this rain!” I said, and we both bolted for the door.

After throwing both of our soaking wet clothes into the dryer and getting some warm, comfy clothes for both of us to chill in, Melissah and I sat down on the couch and packed up the bong. I let her do the honors because it has been forever since we last smoked together and I miss her master packing skills. I’m sprawled out on the futon that I folded out and I’m braiding a stray strand of hair from my “bangs”, trying to calm myself down because something is bugging me; Kat has not called me. I don’t get it, why hasn’t she called me yet? What could be so damned important in Romney that she wouldn’t call me? I trust her, I do. But its only polite to give your girlfriend a call when you arrive safely at your location. What the fuck ever dude, I’m not gonna sit here and stress it when I have a perfectly packed bong sitting right in front of me. I take my hit and let the sucker burn. I suck in as much smoke as I can, letting go of the shot gun and letting it all hit my chest at once.


End file.
